


Beyond the Last and Next Minute

by red_camellia



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Canon Compliant, Depression, Evak - Freeform, M/M, POV Even Bech Næsheim, POV Isak Valtersen, Romance, SKAM - Freeform, a bit of even's past, depressive episodes and manic episodes are described or mentioned, even has a brother, mental illness is discussed, since we never got even's season i wrote this, skam season 5 or 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-01-04 07:23:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18338891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_camellia/pseuds/red_camellia
Summary: Isak is months away from graduating when Even receives a call from his mother that changes everything.Even is not ready to explain why he has kept it a secret that he has an older brother and why they hate each other so much. And as always, misunderstandings and jealousy get in their way of happiness.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I always hoped for SKAM to give us an Even season (and a Vilde season!), but eventually I just wrote this. The story focus alternates between Even and Isak.  
> I absolutely love the concept of minute by minute, but I also wanted to write about the realistic side of a relationship. You find out about the past of your partner and you need to talk about the future.

**Monday 17:30**

The sounds of the radio song mixed with the sizzling of the food in the pan.

 “Even?”

Even was singing along to the song when Isak poked his head through the kitchen door.

 “Even? Your phone. Someone is calling you”, he said and reached him the phone.

Before Even could properly read the name, they had already hung up. 3 missed calls. Mum. Could there be an emergency?

 “Is everything alright?” Isak asked. Even looked up. “Yeah, sure. I will call her back later”, he said and stuffed the phone into the pocket of his pants and smiled at Isak.

He reached out his arm and pulled Isak close to his side. Isak and Even both looked at the pan where a slightly burnt smell came from. Even cursed and let go off Isak to save the food.

 “Looks good, though”, Isak said. “Can I help you with something?”

Even raised his eyebrows as he shot Isak a quick glance. “What, you’re going to suggest adding a ton of spices? Cardamom maybe?” Even said. Isak tilted his head, laughing. 

 “No, for real”, Isak said. “You could set the table”, Even suggested. Isak nodded. “Alright”.

 

Even carried the food into the living room. “Smells delicious”, Isak said. Even smiled and planted a quick kiss on Isak’s cheek. He could see the unasked question on Isak’s face. Isak knew that something wasn’t right, but he wouldn’t ask. He was still worrying too much and often enough Even caught himself wanting to shake off Isak’s anxious gaze. Even was doing fine, he was taking his medicaments regularly and Isak checked whether he really took them. Even tried his best not to say anything because he was glad that Isak was not sick of him yet. It seemed like a miracle that he put up with him, no matter what. But still, sometimes he felt betrayed and angry when he caught Isak in the bathroom with the pill box. Sometimes it slipped past his lips before he could control himself: “Don’t you trust me?”

Why would he ask that? Every answer to that was wrong. So usually Isak didn’t answer, he would patiently put the box back into the mirror cabinet and look at Even. “You know why I checked”, sometimes he would say that. And then Even would only be more mad, not at Isak, but at himself for snapping at Isak.

Once Isak had said that he didn’t want to control Even, but Even knew that what Isak had actually meant to say, was: I don’t want this to go the way it went with Sonja. Only, they preferred not to talk too much about the future or the past. Minute by minute.  

But in the past year Even had been doing better than before, he had been rather stable. Isak was the one he had to thank for calming him down when he got too agitated or stressed and he was patient when everything was too much and Even could not get out of bed.

 

For a moment both looked at each other and the atmosphere got dangerously tense. But then the silence was interrupted by the vibrating sound from Even’s phone. He pulled it out and shortly looked at Isak. Isak nodded and Even took the call from his mother.

 “Hello?”

 “Even! I hope I am not bothering you right now?” his mother said. She sounded excited but happy. Even relaxed a bit.

 “No, uh, Isak and I were about to have dinner. You called a couple of times, what happened?” he asked.

 “Oh, sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you two! It’s – uh – maybe I call back later?” his mother said suddenly hesitant. “No, it’s alright. What is it?” Even asked.

His mother cleared her throat. “Andreas is back in town. He is staying with us for a few weeks. You know, he is moving back here”, she said. Even said nothing. He avoided Isak’s eyes but could feel his anxious gaze on him as if he had reached out to touch his face.

 “He is going to get married, Even!” his mother finally burst out.

 “Oh”, Even said. There was a short moment of silence.

 “He wants you to be there”, his mother said slowly.

 “Does he?” Even asked sharply. He noticed that his hand had tensed around the fork and he quickly let it go.

 “Well, Emily sure does. Please Even, talk to Andreas. It would be sad if you didn’t attend your brother’s wedding”, his mother said slowly.

 “Yeah, right”, Even interrupted her. So his brother was still together with Emily… that also seemed like a miracle to Even.

 “Ok, then –“, his mother said a bit unsure. “Bye”, Even said and hung up.

 

Isak began eating but it looked like it cost him every effort not to ask questions. Even wished he had gotten up and had talked outside. He was not hungry anymore.

 “I overheard a bit”, Isak suddenly said. Even looked up and Isak shrugged apologetic. “I mean I was sitting here, I caught a few words”. Even nodded.

 “So, uh, someone in your family is getting married?” Isak asked carefully. Even shoved the food around on his plate and then sighed. Why should he not confide in Isak? It was unfair to cut him off like that. Nothing that had made the relationship with his brother so complicated was Isak’s fault.

 “My brother. Andreas”, Even said. Isak looked thunderstruck. “I – I didn’t know you had a brother”, Isak murmured. “Yeah, he usually pretends that he doesn’t have a brother so why would I call him brother then?” Even asked sharply.

Isak opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. “It’s complicated”, Even said then.

 “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to”, Isak said. Even managed to smile, Isak looked like he meant it. He was relieved because he didn’t feel like opening up Pandora’s box just yet.

 “My mother wants us to meet and make up before the wedding”, Even said.

 “Do you want me to go with you?” Isak asked gently, he reached out his hand but stopped himself. Even lifted his fingers and softly brushed over Isak’s hand. He smiled shortly.

“No, I think it’s best if I go alone”.

Isak nodded.

 

 

**Tuesday 7:45**

“Good luck for your test!” Even said and Isak shot him a quick smile. “I’m going to need that”. He leaned forward to kiss Even and then dashed out the door.

Even sat down in the now empty and quiet kitchen. The clock was ticking softly and the water in the pot behind him began boiling slowly. For a few moments the bubbling noise of the water seemed to set his teeth on edge. He got up as he noticed that his fingers were drumming against the table. He usually had a slow start into the morning but sometimes he got up early with Isak, who still went to school. He took the boiling water and poured himself a tea. As it got quiet in the room again, his heart slowed down again.

He leaned against the kitchen counter and his eyes fell on a picture of Isak and him laughing happily, hugging each other tightly. There were no pictures of Isak or Even before the two had met. The memory of his older brother suddenly sept into his mind and his cold eyes made him grit his teeth. He almost knocked his cup over.

 

**Wednesday 20:25**

“See you on Friday!” Even waved goodbye to his colleague as he left. He took out his phone and saw that he was late. His phone screen showed two messages from Isak.

 

 

> _Isak 19:45_
> 
> I’m going to warm up some food in the microwave. Should I warm up more so it’s ready when you get home?
> 
> _Isak 20:15_
> 
> Everything alright? Let me know when you get off work.

 

Even began typing.

 

> _Even 20:25_
> 
> Everything alright. Sorry, it took a little longer. I am on my way home now, but it seems I have missed the bus. Have you eaten already?

 

He looked up and debated whether he should walk to a different station or wait for the next bus. His phone buzzed and a new message from Isak popped up.

 

> _Isak 20:26_
> 
> Yes, sorry, I was hungry… but I left something for you.

 

Even smiled. He had already wondered whether it was better to get some takeout. With a sigh he sat down at the bus stop and leaned back.

 “Even?”

He looked up. A young woman approached him, when the light of the street lamp fell on her face he finally recognised her. “Emily!”

 

 

**Wednesday 20:55**

Isak knew that Even would be fine but nonetheless he had been pacing through the flat and checked the window every couple minutes. Even had been doing so well the last year, Isak was torn between the hope that Even would stay stable and waiting for another big breakdown which he knew would happen. It was stupid to think that Even would just suddenly get better, that wasn’t going to happen. Maybe they should talk about it, but Even would get pessimistic and it scared Isak every time when Even voiced his thoughts now and then. They were always so dark. Even was usually cheerful and funny but when he and Isak suddenly found themselves in a deep conversation, Isak always stumbled over Even’s thoughts. Isak feared that no matter what he said or did, some part of Even still thought that eventually, he was alone.

 Isak had done a lot of research, reading blogs online, reading articles, talking to Even. But no one’s mental health followed a strict pattern or plan, he could not see Even like that. Everyone’s mental health was different, individual. The stories online only helped so much as in to give him advice and tips, some of them had helped, some of them had not. Breathing exercises were not Even’s thing, neither was exercise and sports. But Isak thought that he had gotten better in detecting Even’s mood. When he got stressed, Isak reminded Even to take a break and helped him calm down, let him rant and vent if he needed to. Isak had quickly learnt that Even would not constantly slip from feeling fine into an intense manic episode and then into a depressive episode. Mania wasn’t always a stunt like walking outside naked. More often it seemed like Even was in a too good mood, too active and excited, others probably wouldn’t even have noticed that something was off. Sometimes these phases were the opposite and he was irritated and snapped at him. It was difficult not to take it personal when Even pushed him away all of a sudden. And he surely had not gotten much better at it over the course of a year, frankly, he wasn’t sure whether he could ever not be hurt by it.

He pulled back the curtains and looked out the window. Even should be back soon. And there he was. Unmistakeably with his curled hair and a smile on his lips. He was talking to someone, a young woman was walking beside him. Isak could not see her face from his position. They stopped and the woman lifted her arms. Even pulled her into a tight and long hug.

The sight of it felt like a sharp knife in his chest.  Isak let the curtains fall back into place and he sat down on the couch. It wasn’t that he minded Even hugging other people but somewhere in his brain there was this ugly thought: He was late and didn’t text or call for a while. But he walks home with a girl…

Isak shook his head. It was stupid.

A minute later the door opened and Even kicked off his shoes.

 “I’m back!”

His face appeared in the living room a few seconds later. His eyes were sparkling and he was still smiling. He quickly climbed onto the couch and pulled Isak into a kiss.

 “H-Hi”, Isak stuttered surprised.

 “I missed you”, Even said with a cheeky smile.

 “You’re in a good mood. Did something happen at work?” Isak asked. Even shook his head. “No, I’m just happy to see you”, he said.

Isak smiled but Even could feel how the smile disappeared rather quickly when they kissed again.

 

 

**Friday 16:45**

Even was fixing his hair in the bathroom when Isak knocked. Even hummed and Isak poked his head through the door. “You look handsome”, Isak said. Even turned his head away from the mirror to look at Isak. He laughed and Isak grinned. Even gave him a peck.

 “It’s true, though”, Isak said quietly.

 “You need the bathroom? I’m out in a second”, Even said as he turned on the faucet.

 “Thank god we don’t have paper towels”, Isak said when Even dried his hands on the towel. Even looked up and they laughed at the memory of their first time talking to each other.

 “Alright then, have fun – I mean”, Isak said and interrupted himself quickly. Even smiled and kissed him goodbye. “See you later”.

Even was not looking forward to the dinner with his parents and his brother. He had not seen his brother in almost 5 years.

It was a cloudy day, so it was already getting dark outside, although it was already spring. He watched the streets and shops fly past the bus window. He could feel anxiety spreading through his body as if someone had injected poison into his veins. It crawled into his chest and for a second he couldn’t breathe. His phone buzzed and he let out a suffocated breath.

 

> _Isak 16:50_
> 
> It will be alright, Even. Say hi to your parents from me. I love you.

He couldn’t help but smile and the anxiety eased off a bit. He was still tense when he got off the bus and walked to his parents’ house. Isak and he had visited his parents a while ago. They liked Isak a lot, it was hard not to like Isak in Even’s opinion. Isak had been shy and a bit awkward when he had introduced them but he had warmed up quickly. He got along especially well with Even’s mother. Thinking about that now, he thought that it would have been easier had Isak been with him but this was a burden he could not put on Isak’s shoulders. He had to go through this alone. He stopped in front of the door and looked up at the window of his old bedroom. The cold wind was biting at his exposed ears and he could feel raindrops splashing down onto his face. At first only a few and then it began to pour down. Maybe if he stood here long enough it would wash it all away, away, away.

A window opened and his mother appeared smiling at him. “Come inside, you’re getting wet!”

She waved and Even climbed the steps to the front door. His mother was waiting for him at the door, she was smiling brightly but there was a wariness in it that did not escape Even’s attention. It was warm and the air was filled with a delicious smell. He heard the voice of his father and his brother talking in the living room.

 “Put on some dry clothes, Even”, his mother said gently. “You’ll catch a cold”.

She took his dripping wet jacket and went to hang it up. Even pushed open his old bedroom door and went towards the closet. He pulled out sweatpants and peeled out of his wet pants. His sweater was dry thanks to his jacket.

 “How’s Isak?” his mother asked, reappearing at his door.

 “Fine”, Even said. “He says hi”.

His mother laughed. “I hope you two will come over soon. He will graduate this year, won’t he?”

 “Yeah”, Even murmured. She smiled at him and they went back downstairs into the living room.

 “Even!” his father immediately got up and hugged him tightly. He clapped his shoulder. “Good to see you, good to see you”.

Andreas, his brother remained seated on the couch and looked at Even. His eyes were as steely and cold as they had been the last time they had seen each other 5 years ago. His words which he had shouted at Even so long ago seemed to hang heavily in the air between them still.

 “Hi”, Even finally said. Andreas nodded slowly. “Hello, Even”.


	2. Two

**Saturday 10:15**

When Even awoke, he was lying on the side, his eyes opening slowly. It was finally daytime, but there was barely sunlight coming into the room. He could hear the rain pouring outside and the curtains blocked most of the light. He had drifted into an uneasy sleep only to wake up again with a racing heart and feeling cold. That had gone on throughout the whole night. He had not found peace in listening to Isak’s calm and steady breath or in watching him sleep. It was as if he was not even there, as if Isak had boarded a flight to somewhere peaceful and nice and Even had remained on the ground. Too heavy to get up, too exhausted. Occasionally a car drove past their window and it was the only reassuring thing in those long hours where minutes seemed to take longer than usually. A driving car at 4 am meant someone else was awake, someone who couldn’t sleep.

But now in the morning, all Even wanted to do was sleep. He rolled over in bed, the sheets rustling. Isak was not in bed beside him, he had already gotten up. There was a soft clanking sound and the door opened. Isak came inside carrying a tray.

 “Good morning”, he said with a smile.

It looked like he had just gotten up himself a few minutes ago. His hair was tousled and he looked sleepy. He put the tray down on Even’s legs and climbed back into bed next to him. There were two mugs, one with coffee and the other with tea. He had finally figured out how to make tea not using tap water. He was not really skilled in cooking, but Isak had managed to make toast and eggs.

 “It’s for both of us”, Isak said before Even could say anything. “I haven’t eaten yet either. I don’t know whether it’s edible, though. I haven’t tried it yet”, he added. He then poked his fork into the scrambled eggs and took a bite. He hummed.

 “It’s amazing. I’m going to challenge you… Try it”, Isak said. He had half lifted his fork to Even’s mouth when he stopped, seeing the absent look in Even’s eyes. Even wasn’t hungry, he didn’t want to see food right now. The smell alone made his stomach turn.

 “Okay, maybe later?” Isak murmured and put the fork down. “I’ll put the tray away, okay? Do you want the tea?” he asked. Even gave a terse nod. Isak put it down on the bedside table and climbed out of bed, taking the tray with him. He finished the toast and eggs while standing in the kitchen. Even had come home late yesterday, he had not said a word and Isak figured that the dinner had not gone so well. So he didn’t ask.

Even had not slept well either. Isak had woken up several times to Even tossing around in bed, a quiet groan and a muffled sigh. He could feel that Even was watching him, Even had told him once that he found it calming and reassuring so Isak pretended to be asleep in the hope it would help Even to fall asleep, too. Isak didn’t really like being watched like that but if it helped Even, he wouldn’t say anything against it. However, it hadn’t seemed to help.

When he returned to the bedroom, Even had buried himself underneath the blanket.

 “Can I sit here?” Isak asked carefully. Even grunted. Isak sat down on the bed but left Even enough space. He had a reading assignment for biology and he could imagine Sana’s face if he didn’t do it and came unprepared.

It was quiet, there was only the sound of Isak occasionally turning the page of his book, his soft breath, his pen underlining something and the rain outside. Isak was sitting almost on the edge of the bed but Even could feel the warmth that his body radiated. And he suddenly missed him again. Isak looked up from his book and caught Even looking at him. Isak smiled as if he had read his thoughts.

  

**Monday 13:40**

Even’s phone buzzed and he jumped. He had just gotten out of the shower and had found an old drawing while looking for fresh underwear. He rummage through the sheets, pillows and clothes on the bed to search for his phone. It was a text message.

 

> _Emily 13:40_
> 
> Hi, Even. I hope you’re doing okay. Sorry, I couldn’t be there on Friday.

Even typed a quick reply.

 

> I’m fine. It’s alright.

It was not a lie. He felt alright, on Friday night he had thought that this crushing feeling would not disappear and would weighed him down again for months. But instead he had woken up on Monday after having slept through the night. He had managed to get up and make breakfast for himself, Isak had already gone to school. After a shower he felt even better.

A new message popped up by Emily.

 

> _Emily_
> 
> Are you going to introduce me to Isak soon? I want to meet him!

Even grinned and then remembered that he hadn’t even told Isak about Emily, his brother’s future-wife yet.

 

> _Even_
> 
> Soon
> 
> _Emily_
> 
> When are you off work tomorrow?
> 
> _Even_
> 
> 8 PM
> 
> _Emily_
> 
> So late… when are you free this week?
> 
> _Even_
> 
> Wednesday
> 
> _Emily_
> 
> Are you going to help me pick out a wedding dress then on Wednesday? I’m going to make a morning appointment so I don’t steal your valuable afternoon and evening time with your boyfriend.
> 
> _Even_
> 
> You want me to come? I thought you were going to go with my mum.
> 
> _Emily_
> 
> Yes, but I want you to be there, too. You don't have to come if you don't want to... or you don't feel like it. It's ok!
> 
> _Even_
> 
> I will be there. Just let me know when and where.
> 
> _Emily_
> 
> I'll text you when I've got an appointment. You’re the best, Even. <3

 

**Tuesday 21:05**

When Even came home, Isak was sitting at the table buried in books and notes. He looked very tired.

 “Hi”, Even called. “You’re studying?” Isak hummed and wanted to close the book.

 “No, no. I’m going to take a shower”, Even quickly said.

 “Stop destroying my excuses for taking a break”, Isak muttered. Even grinned and kissed him.

 “You can take a break as soon as I get out of the shower”, he said. Isak smiled. “Sounds good”.

Isak rubbed his eyes and ruffled through the notes he had taken while studying together with Sana, looking for a specific term. The water in the bathroom began running and Isak’s thoughts trailed off. He’d rather be under the shower with Even…  He jumped when a sudden loud noise came from under the notes. He had buried Even’s phone and keys under them. He had not meant to but he saw the message that was shortly shown on the display.

 

> _Emily 21:05_
> 
> I got an appointment at 10:30 tomorrow. I am so excited! I’m glad you’re coming. We’re meeting in front of the shop. I’ll text you the address.

Isak frowned. Appointment at a shop?

The bathroom door opened and Isak quickly looked back at his notes.

 “Alright, ready for your break?” Even asked.

Isak looked up. Even had only a towel wrapped loosely around his hips and grinned cheekily at him.

 “Uh”, Isak said, his thoughts half on the strange text message and half on Even.

Even raised his eyebrows and he quickly crossed the distance between them. He shut the book and took the notes from Isak’s hands. As soon as Isak’s hands were empty he reached up to wrap his arms around Even who was already kissing him stormily. Isak almost lost his balance and they stumbled laughing backwards to the couch. Even had him undressed by the time they fell onto the couch. Even’s breath was hot on his skin and the couch felt a little rough on his bare skin. Even’s fingers trailed over his chest and the lower they went, the more the annoying thought of the strange text message faded away. But then Even shifted and cupped Isak’s face, Isak shut his eyes when Even’s mouth found his again, holding their bodies so tightly together as if he tried to fuse them together. A giggle escaped Isak’s lips and broke their kiss.

 “What?” Even asked and looked at him.

 “Nothing. I just –“, Isak said but he couldn’t find the right words. Even raised his eyebrows. But Isak just smiled and wrapped his arms around Even’s neck.

 “Are we going to continue or not?” he asked. Even grinned. “Hell yeah, we are”.

One of the many perks of having a flat of their own was that they didn’t have to worry about being walked in on or being too loud.

 

**Wednesday 11:55**

The glass door swung shut behind them and Even breathed in a welcome fresh breeze after sitting in the perfumed shop for an hour. Emily stretched and gave a huff.

 “I am tired”, she groaned.

 “What a pity”, Even’s mother said. “I am sure you will find one in another shop”.

Emily smiled at her and gave her a hug. “Thank you, Sigrid”. Even’s mother smiled back at her.

 “I need a coffee now”, Emily said. “Oh, I think it’s better if I head home”, Sigrid said. They said goodbye and she took off.

Emily looked at Even. “Are you coming?” He nodded with a thoughtful face.

 

A little later they were sitting outside in the sun in front of a small coffee shop. Emily sighed relieved as she took a sip of her coffee.

 “Did you tell Andreas that I am helping you with the wedding organisation?” Even asked suddenly. Emily looked at him surprised.

 “Well, more or less”, she said then. Even frowned.

 “I told him you would come today”, she said warily.

 “He was fine with it?” Even asked. Emily sighed. “Of course, he was, Even”. Even shook his head and they were silent for a while.

 “Look, I’m glad you’re going to be part of the family but I’d rather have you not marry my brother”, Even said. Emily turned her head and she looked at him.

 “How can you say that?” she asked taken aback. Even looked at her.

 “You’re way too good for him”, Even said sharply. Emily smiled patiently.

 “I don’t think so. You make it sound like I’m an angel and he was the devil”. Even said nothing.

 “You said the same about you and Isak. You think Isak is too good for you”, Emily continued. Even looked up.

 “Well, it’s true”, Even said. “I don’t know why he puts up with everything”. Emily laughed.

 “I’m going to take a wild guess: Probably because he loves you”, she said. Even did not laugh.

 “I know, he says that. But one day he’s going to have enough, one day he will be fed up with me and leave”, Even said glumly. Emily leaned back and looked at the people passing by.

 “I thought you two implemented a new mind-set. Minute by minute, wasn’t it?” she asked. A hint of a smile ghosted on the corner of Even’s mouth.

 “Still – I can’t help it. It’s too good, you know. Too good to be true. I’m just waiting for everything to come crushing down like it always does”, Even said.

 “I don’t believe in soulmates, Even”, Emily said. “You don’t just meet someone who is absolutely perfect for you. There is no one out there who is perfect for you. People don’t belong to one another”, Emily said.

Even interrupted her. “Everyone is alone”. Emily shook her head.

 “No, that’s not what I meant. You might not meet someone who is made for you or perfect for you. But you could meet someone you love and who understands you. And if they don’t understand you, they will try to understand. Because that’s what you do when you love someone. You try to be as good for the other person as you can but the closer you get, the better you get to know someone, you will eventually encounter their bad habits and their flaws and learn their secrets or you find yourself barred out because there are secrets that we don’t share. That’s how it is. But if you love them, you will love them nonetheless”, Emily said.

 “Mental illness is not a bad habit or – just a flaw”, Even said roughly.

 “I know”.

Even couldn’t look at her. “I’m sorry”, he murmured. Of course, she knew. He shouldn’t have snapped at her.

 “I know”, she said again. He felt her hand on his and finally looked at her. She was smiling.

 “If you love someone, you have to put effort into your relationship. Isak doesn’t expect you to be perfect because he knows that he is not perfect either”, Emily said. Even opened his mouth.

 “I think he is perfect”, he muttered.

 “Who would have thought you to be so cheesy”, Emily said and laughed. “But you don’t agree with him on everything, do you? Right, that’s what I meant. If you were made for one another that would be the case. But it’s not. Fortunately if you are willing to, you can work together and walk towards one another, meet in the middle. Then it could be nearly perfect”, Emily said.

 “I guess that’s what we’re doing”, Even murmured. Emily nodded. “Then it’s good, isn’t it? It’s just what Andreas and I are doing as well”, she said softly.

Even didn’t seem to have heard her. “But the way to the middle, to where we would meet is a path one has to walk alone, isn’t it?” he said thoughtfully. Emily shook her head.

 “No! You talk like you came into existence out of nowhere. You were with your mother before you were born and from the moment you were born your parents loved you and cared for you!” she said upset. Even looked at her.

 “Everyone leaves, dies one day”, he said darkly.

 “You know, babies die when they are not held by someone. You are only ever alone when you’re abandoned”, Emily said. “Leaving and abandoning someone is not the same”.

Her hands had tightened around her cup. Even jerked his head. “How is it not the same?” he asked without wanting an answer.

Emily looked at him and the darkness in her eyes resonated within Even, it scared him and he had to look away. They both knew too well of being left but somehow she had figured out how not to feel alone. Even had always thought that she had uncovered some secret in how to achieve that. But as he looked at her now, he thought that maybe she was lying. She looked terribly alone to him.

 

**Wednesday 13:15**

Jonas shut his locker and looked up when Isak suddenly stood beside him. “Hey”, he said.

 “Hi”, Isak said. He looked uneasy.

 “Everything alright?” Jonas asked.

 “I’m – uh – I’m not so sure”, Isak said.

 “Let’s talk outside”, Jonas said and they left the building to sit on the stairs in front of the school. The stream of people leaving and coming soon stopped as class started.

 “What happened?” Jonas asked carefully. Isak fumbled with the zipper of his jacket. “Is it about Even?” Jonas asked. Isak nodded.

 “He’s behaving strangely lately. He’s away often”, Isak said. “And I have to study for the exams, so I feel like we don’t spend as much time with each other anymore”. Jonas frowned.

 “Okay”, he murmured. “But he’s working, isn’t he?” Isak shook his head.

 “No, I mean yes. But ever since he got the call from his mother about his brother –“, Isak interrupted himself.

 “His brother?” Jonas asked surprised.

 “Yeah, he didn’t tell me that he had a brother. They’re not on good terms”, Isak said.

 “And you think that call might cause a manic episode?” Jonas asked carefully. “I think Magnus knows more about that”. Isak shook his head.

 “No, that’s not it. His brother is getting married, so his mother asked Even to make up with his brother. They met up and it didn’t go well. I don’t know, he didn’t tell me how it went but it was pretty clear from the state he was in when he came back”, Isak said.

Jonas didn’t say anything and waited for Isak to continue pouring his heart out. “Anyways, he often comes home very late these days. And once – he was late and I was worried. He didn’t tell me why it took longer but I saw him coming home and he was – with a girl”, Isak finally said it. The thought was even uglier now that he said it out loud. Jonas was quiet for a while, he was eyeing Isak.

 “And he’s getting a lot of text messages from a girl. He met up with her today in the morning”, Isak added.

 “Did you see them meet up?” Jonas asked.

 “No, I saw the text message – by accident. I wasn’t snooping…”, Isak said defendant although Jonas hadn’t sounded as if he was accusing him.

 “Well, did you ask him about it?” Jonas asked. Isak shook his head.

 “Not really. He doesn’t want to tell me anything at the moment. Not about his brother, or where he goes”, Isak said almost bitterly.

 “Well, just ask him then. You can’t expect him to tell you everything”, Jonas said calmly. Isak frowned.

 “What? I can’t just ask: are you cheating on me?” he said. Jonas shook his head.

 “No, not like that. Just ask him what he did today. You know that he was supposed to meet this girl today, so ask him about his day”, Jonas said.

 “And what if he doesn’t tell me?” Isak murmured.

 “Then be direct. Tell him that you know he is seeing a girl”, Jonas said.

Isak hummed. He’d rather not do that. He didn’t want to see Even’s face when he said that, he didn’t want to fight, he was scared that everything could fall apart. But what if Even really was cheating on him, wasn’t it falling apart already then? He had a terrible stomach ache and felt sick just thinking about it.

 “I don’t think he’s cheating on you”, Jonas said suddenly. Isak looked up. “How come?” he asked. Jonas shrugged.

 “I think he’s pretty serious about your relationship, you know”. Isak looked away. He had thought so, too but he couldn't banish the weird feeling that something wasn't right.

 

**Wednesday 19:45**

Even and Isak were washing the dishes in the kitchen. Even usually hummed along to the songs or would dance around getting soap everywhere but today he was quiet. Isak cleared his throat.

 “Is everything alright?” he asked. Even looked up surprised, it seemed like he had been in deep thought. “Huh?”

Isak hesitated. “You had a day off today, didn’t you?”

Even’s brows furrowed a little as he tried to figure out what Isak was driving at. “Yeah”, he said.

 “What did you do then?” Isak asked. His voice was trembling, he was nervous. Even frowned.

 “Why are you asking?” he asked. Isak was caught off guard with that question.

 “I – well. Can I not ask you about your day?” he asked back but he averted his eyes. The silence between them was tense.

 “I helped out with wedding stuff”, Even finally said. Isak looked at Even.

 “I thought you and your brother –“, he started. Even shook his head.

 “I’m not doing this for my brother. I joined my mother, they needed a little help”, Even said.

 “Okay”, Isak said but he didn’t sound like it was okay.

 “Why?” Even asked. Isak shrugged.

 “It’s just that last week it seemed like the dinner with your brother didn’t go so well. I’m surprised you’re helping out with the wedding, that’s all”, he said. Even nodded.

 “It’s hard to say no. I’m not happy with it and I don’t really like it but it’s their wedding so I can’t say no when I am asked to help out, can I?” Even said. Isak nodded.

Even gently bumped his hip against Isak’s and when they looked at each other Even flashed him his bright smile.

 “Don’t make such a face. I don’t want you to get dragged into this as well”, Even said. He leaned down to Isak and gave him a kiss.

 “But I’ll take you to the wedding with me”, he said. Isak lifted his eyebrows.

 “So I’m invited? I’m allowed to come?” he asked. Even nudged him.

 “What are you talking about? Of course you are. You are going with me, you're my partner”, Even said and kissed him again. Isak hummed.

 “You don’t want to come?” Even asked. Their foreheads and noses were resting against each other.

 “I want to come”, Isak said quietly.

 “Good”, Even whispered and rubbed the tip of his nose against Isak’s. Isak smiled and Even laughed quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm destroying the SKAM tradition of making Friday the most eventful day but here I am making it a Wednesday. That's also why Friday is missing... I imagined Isak to be a good boy for once and study for his exams but it would be rather boring to read, so I left it out. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'd be excited to hear what you think. Thank you so much for leaving kudos ^^


	3. Three

**SUNDAY 10:30**

“Good morning”, Even said with a grin. Isak cleared his throat but his “Good morning”, turned into a gasp when Even pulled down Isak’s clothes and his skin met the sheets and Even’s warm breath. Even planted kisses all over Isak’s chest, stomach and legs. Suddenly Isak was wide awake, his sleepiness left his body very quickly when he felt Even’s bare skin hot against his own.

Even and Isak were sitting at the table, having a late breakfast. Even looked very content eating his breakfast and when he caught Isak looking at him, he raised his eyebrows.

 “What? Not enough cardamom on your cheese sandwich?” he asked. Isak had to laugh.

 “No, I just thought – you’re handsome when you look happy”, Isak muttered. He turned away, he didn’t know why he had said that out loud. But Even liked it, his eyes were sparkling and he smiled.

 “I think we should finish breakfast though before we get into round two, shouldn’t we?” Even said. Isak laughed again. Even hummed and leaned back on the chair.

 “We should go away”, Even suddenly said. Isak looked at him. “What do you mean?” Even tilted his head.

 “Don’t know. Go away on holiday. Somewhere near the beach and we sleep in, wake up to the sound of the ocean”, he said and then paused for a moment.

Isak imagined it. The two of them in a beach house, with wide open windows, the sun shining into their room filling it up with golden warmth, ocean waves in the distance and a salty breeze. White sheets tousled. He was not really into beaches and the ocean but when he imagined Even sitting in those sheets, the sun shining onto his face, Even and him playing around in the water, and he smiled.

  “Yeah, that would be nice”, he said. Even got up and cupped Isak’s face.

 “Let’s do it”, he whispered against Isak’s lips.

 “Huh?” Isak made.

 “Let’s go away”.

Isak frowned and pulled back a little so he could see Even’s face.

 “Now?” he asked. Even’s lips twitched into a smile.

 “That would be fucking awesome but I’m realistic enough to know we can’t right now”, he said. Isak hummed.

 “We couldn’t afford a beach house”, he said. Even shrugged.

 “We could sleep under the stars, on the sand”, he said. Isak frowned. “Outside?” Even nodded.

 “Yeah. Why not? We could see the stars and be really close to the ocean”.

 – “And get killed by mosquitos? And I think it’ll get very cold at night”, Isak said. Even sighed.

 “We could find ways to stay warm, you know”.

Isak nudged Even. “I think I prefer a hotel or beach house”. Even laughed.

 “Alright, alright. Then we should save money for a beach house, huh?” He leaned forward and kissed Isak.

 “We could go after I graduate – to celebrate”, Isak suggested. Even smiled against his lips. “I’d rather go sooner”. Isak hummed.

 “Me too, but I have exams soon”, he said. Even pulled back.

 “You really prefer studying over going to the beach?” he asked.

 “No, I did not say that. Who would prefer studying over anything?” Isak called. Even laughed. “Well, you. Just now”. Isak shook his head.

 “I have to. It’s not the same as I want to”.

Even kissed him again, still laughing.

 

**TUESDAY 11:45**

Jonas stretched and yawned. Magnus and Mahdi were discussing something that was not the mathematical question they were trying to solve. Isak absently tapped with his pen onto the table.

 “Are you ok?” Jonas asked. Isak looked up.

 “Huh, yeah. Sure”, he said.

Jonas gave him a meaningful look and Isak remembered that he hadn’t told Jonas yet about the failed attempt to figure out whom Even was meeting. Isak had almost forgotten about it because he had been so busy with classes, worrying about exams and since Wednesday Even had not gotten any mysterious messages anymore neither had he stayed out longer after his shift. He shortly shaked his head and Jonas seemed to understand that Isak didn’t want to discuss it right now.

 “I don’t understand why we need this anyway. I won’t study mathematics so this is useless”, Magnus said with a groan and ruffled his hair.

 “That would have come as a surprise”, Isak said and leaned over to look at the sheet. Magnus opened his mouth.

 “Are you saying I’m too stupid?” he asked offended. Isak rolled his eyes.

 “No, just that mathematics wouldn’t be your thing”, Isak muttered.

 “What are you going to study then, Einstein?” Magnus asked. Isak looked up.

He had obviously thought about it and looked several programmes up online but he had never discussed his plans with anyone. Even and he never spoke about it. They should however. Even could not plan on working at the coffee shop forever and he surely expected Isak to go to university after school. Isak cleared his throat.

 “I thought about – uh – biophysics”, he said almost stumbling over the word. The moment he said it he felt embarrassed for some reason, he couldn’t tell why.

 “Nice man!” Jonas said however with an impressed look. Isak smiled a bit. Mahdi hummed.

 “What are you up to then?” Isak asked generally into the round. Mahdi shrugged.

 “Don’t know yet. I haven’t really looked into it. Gotta graduate first, right?” Jonas nodded.

 “I want to work with kids. I have looked into elementary schools and kindergartens”, Magnus said.

 “You fit right in”, Isak said. Mahdi burst into laughter and Jonas grinned.

 “I was being serious”, Magnus said affronted. “I didn’t say either that you won’t get into that university being constantly high”, he added. Jonas laughed.

 “I’m not smoking that much”, Isak said. “As if you weren’t”.

For a pleasant moment they were all laughing and then Jonas asked carefully into the comfortable silence.

 “What about Even?” Isak tensed up. “What do you mean?” he asked.

 “Well, what does he think about your future plans?” Jonas asked. Isak shrugged.

 “Don’t know, we haven’t talked about it yet”, he said. Magnus and Jonas exchanged looks.

 “You’re literally graduating in 2 months”, Jonas said. “You gotta make some kind of plan”. Isak jerked his head.

 “We just – take it chill”, Isak said unconvincingly while he stared at the mathematical problem without really looking at it.

 “He hasn’t told you what his plans are either?” Magnus now tuned in.

 “He’s spontaneous”, Isak said defensively and growingly irritated. “Why are you going on about this? We’ve got to solve this damn problem”, he snapped.

But in reality, he knew his friends were right and he wanted to talk about his future, he wanted to make plans but he just didn’t know how to tell Even that he wished to move away from Oslo. A change like that was big and difficult. They would have to look for a new doctor for Even. His parents would be far away. A large part of his support system would be gone.

It was quiet and finally it just burst out of Isak: “Look, I know that Even doesn’t need a babysitter but the change from school to university could potentially be a hard task for Even and I’m not sure how he will manage. And the university I looked into is not in Oslo so I-“. He interrupted himself and looked at Jonas.

 “I don’t even know whether he wants to come with me if I get into the university”.

Magnus ripped open a package of a chocolate bar, it sounded as if he had ripped the heavy silence apart itself after Isak had stopped talking. Magnus seemed completely unaware of the awkward and tense silence.

 “Just ask him, you know”, Magnus said and took a large bite. “Uh, Vilde wants to go travelling for several months. So we gotta discuss how we will handle that. Whether we take a break or not”, Magnus said. “We all are unsure of what’s going to come, Isak. It’s going to be hard on everyone”. Isak took a deep breath.

 “Yeah, but if we went away, we would have to look for new doctors and –“, he started again.

 “Hey, dude. Since when are you worrying so much? Chill”, Magnus said. Jonas cleared his throat.

 “Why don’t we all hang out on Friday?” Jonas asked. Mahdi looked surprised.

 “We can just talk about it more casually, you know. We’re all discussing future plans and one of us asks Even –“, Jonas suggested.

 “No”, Isak immediately interrupted him. Everyone at the table looked taken aback at Isak’s harshness.

 “No, it’s just – it’s better to talk about this after – I want to talk with him alone about this”, Isak said.

Jonas seemed to immediately understand that the thing with the mysterious girl was not yet cleared but Magnus and Mahdi didn’t know about that. So Jonas turned back to the mathematical problem. “Alright, then let’s tackle this”, he said.

 

**TUESDAY 15:35**

Isak was wondering whether he should have simply decluttered his locker at the start of the term as he tried to ram all his books into it. It simply wouldn’t fit, a few single sheets of paper fell out and sailed to the floor. Someone picked it up.

 “Thanks”, Isak said. It was Jonas.

 “Alright?” Jonas asked.

Isak hummed as he clearly was not alright trying to close his bursting locker. Jonas stood beside him and watched him casually as if Isak was not just battling his locker.

 “So – you didn’t say anything about Wednesday”, Jonas started.

 “Wednesday?” Isak said distracted and a little out of breath.

 “Yes, last week. I mean you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But like I said, it’s not good to keep it all to yourself and brood over it, you know…”, Jonas said.

 “I know”, Isak said and finally Jonas helped him slam the locker door shut.

 “He didn’t tell me what he was doing. Well, kind of. I can’t tell whether he is lying or not. He uh said that he had to help out with wedding organisation stuff and so on”, Isak murmured.

 “Did you ask him about the girl?” Jonas asked. Isak shook his head.

 “Okay”, Jonas said. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. Isak didn’t know what to say.

They both left the building in silence. Jonas walked up to his bicycle and Isak stood beside him waiting as he would take the tram.

 “I don’t really want to ask”, Isak finally confessed. Jonas looked up and fastened his bike lock.

 “But wouldn’t that be better than guessing around and losing sleep over it?” Jonas asked. Isak bit his lip and shrugged. “Probably”.

Jonas smiled at him. There was a buzzing sound and Isak reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. It was a message by Even.

 

> _Even 15:40_
> 
> When we’re going to get married, we’re going to pick an epic place! Like this!!

Attached there was a picture of an extravagant hall, there were two balconies at the front which made Isak think of a church. But it was too bright and the walls were of a soft white with a large window front.

 

> _Isak 15:40_
> 
> Is this where your brother is going to get married?
> 
> _Even 15:40_
> 
> No, it’s where we’re getting married!

Isak frowned. “Is everything ok?” Jonas asked. Isak cleared his throat.

 “Uh, yeah”, he said but it was so weak it wouldn’t have convinced anyone. “Even”, he murmured.

 “Why, what’s he writing?” Jonas asked as he pushed his bicycle over the school yard.

 

> _Even 15:40_
> 
> We should get married in June.
> 
> It’s the perfect month.
> 
> April would have been great for flowers but number 4 is bad luck.

Isak frowned. “He’s – writing random stuff”, he said and as he said it out loud he had a sinking feeling in his stomach. “I gotta go home”, he said abruptly.

 “Weren’t you about to anyways? Is everything ok?” Jonas asked confused.

 “Uh, see you. That’s my tram”, Isak said chaotically and ran up the train. He jumped in just as the door were closing.

 

 

> _Isak 15:41_
> 
> Okay. Are you at home? I’m coming home now, so you can tell me in person.
> 
> _Even 15:41_
> 
> No, I’m at my brother’s place.

Isak was completely confused. Why would Even be at his brother’s place? He sounded like he was at the beginning of an episode.

 

> _Isak 15:41_
> 
> Why are you at your brother’s place?
> 
> _Even 15:41_
> 
> Because we were looking for wedding locations.
> 
> _Isak 15:41_
> 
> At your brother’s house?

When Isak’s stop came up and Even still hadn’t responded, he wrote again.

 

> _Isak 15:53_
> 
> Anyways, are you coming home for dinner?

 

Isak almost walked past the front door because he was staring so focused onto his phone screen, willing Even to answer.

Isak had just unlocked the door when a reply popped up.

 

> _Even 16:00_
> 
> Yes. I think I’ll be home soon.

The reply was strangely collected and direct. Isak scrolled back up reading the messages again. They had definitely sounded like the random stuff Even would write at the beginning of an episode. Isak put his phone down and quickly went into the bathroom. He pulled open the small medicine cabinet and took out Even’s pill box. He had forgotten to check the last week. It was almost empty which meant that Even was taking his medicaments. But at a second glance he saw that the new package they had bought earlier this month was gone. Isak counted the remaining pills and made a note of it into his phone. Then he closed the cabinet with an uneasy feeling.

 

**TUESDAY 18:25**

Even stood in front of the door for a few minutes. He had made up his mind to tell Isak everything but then the thought of having to tell Isak why he was no longer talking to his brother was too overwhelming. The crushing fear of seeing the same look in Isak’s eyes as there had been in his brother’s eyes. He wouldn’t be able to handle it. Isak would either play it down as something that wouldn’t and couldn’t happen again, but it could. Or Isak would immediately turn away from him. Even hated that. His mind would run in circles and he found no way out. His hands were shaking so he clenched them into fists.

His brother had not allowed Even to tag along when they had visited several wedding revenues. Even wouldn’t have minded, but Emily got angry at Andreas and Emily rarely got angry. They had fought which had ended in Emily and Andreas going to the revenues alone and Emily showing Even pictures of the revenues afterwards. Even knew that she was only doing this to make Even feel included when Andreas did everything he could to exclude Even. But Even wished she would stop trying to forcefully mend something that was broken beyond repair. He hated the sadness on her face after she had fought with Andreas and somehow she couldn’t see that her desperate wish to reconcile the brothers made Even only hate his brother more. He had made her cry, he could tell. But she had denied it and didn’t want to talk about it. It had been awful sitting in the kitchen with Emily looking at pretty revenue pictures and while he had tried to cheer her up, his own feelings and thoughts got all mixed up and he hadn’t known where to put all of these confusing thoughts. He had meant to write them down as notes in his phone. It had been Isak’s idea and he found it quite helpful but this time he had accidentally sent the notes to Isak.

He let out a slow breath and relaxed his hands. Then he opened the door and walked in. It was very warm inside, almost too warm. Even took off his jacket and shoes. The lights were all on but it was very quiet. Isak was probably studying. He found Isak lying on the couch in the living room, dozing with his laptop on his stomach.

 “Hello, sleeping beauty”, Even said. Isak jumped and looked around confused. “What time is it?” he asked and sat up.

 “Half past six. Have you been studying?” Even asked as he sat down on the couch. Isak nodded and rubbed his eyes.

 “Hungry?” Even asked studying Isak’s face. Isak smiled sheepishly. “Very”.

And as if by command his stomach gave a loud rumbling sound. Even laughed and leaned forward to kiss Isak’s cheek. “Then I’ll cook something”. Isak got up.

 “Uh – want me to help you?” he asked.

Even hesitated but then smiled and nodded. He reached out his arms and pulled Isak into a tight hug as Isak tried to walk into the kitchen.

 “Uh – what is that for?” Isak asked surprised with a muffled voice against his shoulder.

 “I missed you”, Even said and it was true. He had missed him. His racing thoughts seemed to slow down a bit when Isak was there. He felt Isak’s arms closing around him.

 “I missed you, too”. He whispered it so quietly as if he was too shy to say it out loud. Even held him tighter.

 “Were you really at your brother’s place?” The question came just as quiet and quickly. Even frowned.

 “Yes. Why?” he said confused. Isak buried his face deeper into Even’s shoulder.

Isak must have been worrying too much again. He couldn’t understand what was going on… And as they held each other so tightly for a second Even gave in.

 “It was really awful. There was a huge argument and it sucked”, Even said. Isak was quiet.

 “I wish she would stop trying to get me and my brother bond again”, Even added but the words got caught in his throat. He didn’t know how to continue.

 “Maybe you should take a break from the wedding organisation”, Isak murmured. Even hummed.

 “Usually he’s not there. It’s just –“, he began but he couldn’t even say her name.

What if Isak asked about her? He couldn’t lie about her. He couldn’t say just one thing about her without saying the other. And then he would have to tell the whole story and he couldn’t – he just couldn’t.

 “Hey”. He flinched as Isak had pulled out of the hug. Isak looked at him worried and cupped his face.

 “Look at me”. Even slowly lifted his eyes and looked into Isak’s eyes.

 “Take a breath”.

Even only realised then that he had tensed up and had held his breath. Together with Isak he took a deep breath in and out and loosened his tight grip on Isak’s shirt.

 “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have asked. It doesn’t matter right now. Right now, we’re going to cook dinner. Everything else can wait”, Isak said. Even had opened his mouth to protest.

Everything else can wait. But eventually he would have to tell Isak.

 

**FRIDAY 19:15**

The kitchen table and an extra table were full of papers, designs, pens and a laptop. Emily had her shirt sleeves rolled up and Even stood beside her.

 “Three, two, one”, they counted down.

 “This one”, they said at the same time pointing at two different sheets.

 “What?” Even called. He picked up the sheet he had chosen and held it up. 

 “How could you not -? That one?” he asked and eyed Emily’s choice.

 “No, no. You’ve got to imagine it. If you pick that font for the front of the wedding invitations your names are gonna be illegible”, Even said shaking his head. Emily scrunched her nose.

 “I would say that the people coming to the wedding know our names. It should look pretty, Even”, she said. Even laughed and shook his head.

 “Let’s try again, we put these two aside”, he said and took their choices and put them on the floor.

 “One, two –“, Even started but a loud beeping sound interrupted them.

 “The pizza!” Emily called in panic and hurried over to the oven, sweeping several designs off the table. She cursed and fumbled around to get her hands into the oven mittens. Even gathered the designs that had fallen to the floor.

 “Ugh, it burnt”, Emily said with a sigh. Even looked around the corner.

 “It’ll taste fine”, he said. Emily transferred the burnt pizza onto a large plate and cut it into pieces.

 “Okay, let’s decide for a design it has to cool down a bit anyways”, she said and washed her hands.

 “You're the only person to not eat a pizza freshly made and hot. Alright then”, Even said.

They counted and pointed to different designs again.

 “I can’t believe this, usually we are more in synch”, Emily said.

 “Not when it comes to art”, Even said. Emily pursed her lips.

 “Yeah, yeah”, she muttered. Shortly after they had collected their top 5 designs.

 “That’s enough, we should narrow it down from here”, Emily said and collected the rest of the designs to clear the table.

While she went to get the pizza, Even checked his phone. He had told Isak that he would help out with the wedding organisations but they still hadn’t talked about the issue further. Isak was meeting up with Jonas and his friends – to study. Even doubted that the guys would really sit down and study. He thoughtfully tapped his fingers onto the table and then finally opened the messenger to write Isak.

 

> _Even 19:25_
> 
> How is the studying going?

Emily put the pizza on the table and sat down. “Oh damn it, the paper towels”, she said and got back up. Even didn’t look at her, a new message popped up.

 

> _Isak 19:25_
> 
> We’re taking a break. How’s the wedding organisation going?
> 
> _Even 19:25_
> 
> Good. We’re choosing designs for the wedding invitations. They needed an artist’s eye ;)
> 
> _Isak 19:25_
> 
> Oh, which artist is joining you then?
> 
> _Even 19:25_
> 
> Haha
> 
> The best
> 
> I’m going to make your invitation extra special, though.
> 
> _Isak 19:25_
> 
> Special?
> 
> _Even 19:25_
> 
> Yes, it’s going to be unique <3
> 
> _Isak 19:25_
> 
> Looking forward to it <3

 “Are you writing with Isak?” Emily asked as she sat down. Even looked up and put the phone aside. “Yeah”. Emily took a slice of pizza.

 “You still haven’t introduced us. I get you want to keep your precious boy to yourself but I thought he would come to the wedding. So it would be actually nice to meet him before that”, Emily said and took a large bite of the pizza.

Even also took a piece and began eating to avoid answering. Emily gave him a couple of minutes but when Even still didn’t say anything, she sighed.

 “Okay, what are you scared of?” she asked. Even shortly looked at her.

 “Come on Even, I’ve known you long enough to be able to tell that you’re anxious about Isak meeting me. Are you worried I might scare him off?” Emily asked. Even lowered his eyes.

 “Eventually we would talk about why I’m so close with you but we weren’t in touch for years and why my brother hates me”, Even said.

 “He doesn’t hate you”, Emily interrupted him gently.

 “He does”, Even continued merciless. “And I don’t want him to know about –“, Even said. It was quiet for a very long time.

 “Even, you know I do not blame you. Did you really think I would spend so much time with you if I thought anything had been your fault?” Emily asked.

Even shook his head. “That’s not it”. He could talk about everything with Emily but that one thing was just too difficult to bring up. He was still too ashamed of it, the guilt was crushing him whenever he thought of it. And the pain and resentment it had caused between him and Andreas was not fixable. The bond between them had always been a fragile thing but that night it had broken entirely.

There was the sound of a door shutting.

 “Emily! Surprise, I got off early tonight”, a voice sounded from the hallway. Emily’s face fell and they exchanged anxious gazes. “Where are you?” A second later Andreas stood in the kitchen holding a large bouquet of roses in his hands. The beaming smile on his face disappeared so quickly it looked like someone had slapped it off his face.

 “I should go”, Even said and got up. His heart was racing and he felt cold sweat on his forehead.

 “No, stay”, Emily said.

 “Yes, that would be for the best”, Andreas said at the same time.

Andreas’ icy glare bored into Even’s eyes and Even could almost taste the blood in his mouth as if he had been thrown back in time. 5 years ago when Andreas had pulled the door behind him shut and they had stood facing each other just as they were now. And maybe Andreas was remembered the same thing because the silence got so thick one could have cut it with a knife. It lay heavy on Even’s ears where the blood was rushing now. Like 5 years ago after Andreas had shouted at him before he had stormed at him and shaken him, punched him until finally their parents had turned up and pulled them apart.

 “Okay, let’s get a vase for the flowers, shall we?” Emily unexpectedly said into the silence.

Andreas flinched as if he had forgotten that she was there. Then he realised that he was still holding the flowers. He walked over to her and reached them towards her.

 “They’re beautiful. Thank you, Andreas”, she said gently. “I think we will need the big vase, it’s on the top shelf. Could you get it down for me?” she asked.

Andreas nodded. While he was busy getting the vase, Emily turned to Even.

 “Even”, she said and touched his arm. “Look at me”, she said. Even looked at her, his eyes nervously flitting over to his brother.

 “Do you want me to call Isak so he can come and pick you up?” she asked. Even shook his head.

 “Should I call your mum?” Emily asked quietly and stroked his arm. “I’ll call her, ok? She can drive you home. Come, let’s sit in the living room”, she said and led him out of the kitchen into the living room.

She put their preferred designs into his hands. “These are our top 5 each. Why don’t you look over them again and tell me later which is your absolute favourite?” she asked. Even nodded absently. He was far from being able to focus on the designs or anything at all. The anger had boiled up in him so quickly and suddenly, it had completely overwhelmed him. His hands were still shaking.

 “I’m going to make myself a tea. Do you want one, too?” she asked. Even nodded and shook his head, he had not really listened.

 “Okay”, Emily said. She left the living room but the door didn't shut properly.

He heard her talk to Andreas, the sound of heavy glass being put on a wooden table and the kettle being filled with water.

 “Why is he here, Emily?” Andreas asked quietly.

 “Andreas, we’re not going to discuss this right now. I’m going to call Sigrid. She will pick him up and drive him home”, Emily said firmly.

 “I told you I don’t mind if he tags along to your organisation appointments and what not but when I come home from work, I don’t want him to be here”, Andreas said. 

 “Andreas, I’m on the phone”, Emily simply said to cut him off. Even got up. They were talking about him as if he wasn’t there, as if he couldn’t hear them. No, Andreas knew that he was listening.

He pushed the door open just as Emily said: “Sorry Sigrid to bother you this late, but would you mind picking up Even –“.

 “You’re still telling her what she can do and what she cannot do, huh?” Even said loudly. They turned around to him.

 “No, Even”, Emily quickly said.

Andreas stepped in front of Emily. “Even, stop acting like a child”, Andreas said coldly. Even glared at him.

 “Fuck off, Andreas”, Even said back. “Emily invited me over, it’s as much her home as it is yours!” Andreas made a step towards Even but Emily grabbed his arm.

 “You better not”, she said. Her calm tone had taken a very drastic turn into a threatening tone. It was an odd scenario, Emily more than a head smaller than Andreas glaring up at him holding him back by his arm. Suddenly Even felt like he actually wanted Emily to let go of Andreas. He should come at him.

 “Just let him go, he wants to finish what he started, right?” Even said aggressively.

 “There will be no fist fights in my kitchen”, Emily said loudly and she put the phone down. “I think you should go outside and maybe cool down a bit?” she said to Andreas. He glared at her.

 “You always take his side”, he hissed.

 “Someone’s gotta”, Emily shot back. Andreas huffed. “He’s not 14 anymore, Emily. Stop acting like he’s your brother”.

Before anyone could say something Andreas was thrown back very hard as Even stormed at him and pushed him. Andreas crashed into the table and a chair fell over.

 “Stop, Even!” Emily screamed and pulled him back.

 “Are you okay?” she asked anxiously as squatted down to help Andreas up. “I’m fine. I’m fine”. Emily turned to Even.

 “Thank you, Even but that’s enough. Wait in the living room for me”, she said. Even opened his mouth. “That was not a question”, Emily said and it was very final. Even turned around and went into the living room although he had rather kicked over the table.

 “If you ask him to stop acting like a child, you should, too. For heaven’s sake, Andreas!” Emily said angrily. Andreas grabbed his keys and left the kitchen and the door fell shut behind him. Emily saw that he quickly walked through the garden and slammed the garden gate.

She turned around and hurried into the living room where Even was pacing.

 “He – should not have said that. He should not have – brought up – he shouldn’t say anything about your brother”, Even said out of breath pointing his finger toward the kitchen. Emily eyed him.

 “No. No, he should not have”, she said.

 “How are you not angry?” Even called.

 “I am”, Emily said although her voice was calm. “Very. But I will deal with it in a way that won’t get anyone hurt”, Emily said. “Wanna try it with me?” she asked then.

Even glared around the room while his hands balled into fists clashed in a rapid movement against his hips.

 “Even”, Emily said. But Even wasn’t listening he kept pacing through the room, not knowing where to put all his anger and overwhelming feelings.

 “Can you stop looking at me?” Even snapped as he noticed that Emily’s eyes followed him through the room. Emily’s eyebrows furrowed.

 “Fine”, she said and sat down on the couch staring at the wall.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang and Emily got up. “That’ll be Sigrid”, she said. Even groaned. “I said I’m fine. I was just –“.

But Emily left the room and returned with Even’s mother seconds later. “Let’s go home, Even”, his mother just said. “Come”.

Even finally gave in and followed his mother outside.

 “Uh, Sigrid. Not to his and Isak’s place”, Emily said quietly at the door.

Even turned around but he said nothing. He had not wanted to go home anyway. How had she known? He feared that he would lose control again and lash out against Isak. To their left there was the kitchen door and through the large window panel he could see the chair and table in a mess. Suddenly he felt very ashamed. Emily smiled as if nothing had happened.

 “Good night, Even”.

Emily was just pulling the table back in place, finding one of the legs to be cracked when Andreas came back. “Is he gone?” Emily turned around.

 “Yes”, she said simply.

 “Look, I’m sorry, it was really – really stupid and unfair of me to say that. I shouldn’t have said anything about your brother and I’m really sorry”, Andreas said. Emily was fighting with herself wanting to leave it uncommented but it bothered her too much.

 “Why did you provoke him like that?” she asked.

 “I? I didn’t provoke him”, Andreas said distraught. Emily sighed exasperated.

 “I told you my reasons”, Andreas started.

 “You treat Even like a bomb that could go off any second”, Emily said darkly.

 “He is”, Andreas said. “And you know that”. Emily shook her head. “No. No, he is not”. Andreas ran his hand over his face, he looked tired.

 “We shouldn’t have come back here. I knew once you'd meet Even again this would start all over again”, he sighed.

 “Excuse me?” Emily said with a dangerous voice.

 “This obsessive trying to fix Even thing”, Andreas said and waved his hand. Emily raised her eyebrows. “I’m not trying to fix him. He is not broken!”

Andreas shook his head. “Why is it that we only ever fight when it comes to Even?” Emily stared at him.

 “What is that supposed to mean?” she asked.

 “That I don’t want Even around! Because as soon as he turns up we’re fighting. We never fight. Everything is going well and then he turns up and everything goes downhill!” Andreas called. Emily sat down.

 “It will go on like this forever if you two don’t make peace with what happened. It will tear us up, Andreas. I don’t want that. That’s why I asked you to make up with him. Please, Andreas”, she said. Andreas looked at her pleading face.

 “Please, try to understand him a little bit and let go off your resent. I know you don’t hate him but if you keep holding it off and push the day you talk to him further back, there will come a day when it’s too late…", she said. Andreas sighed and closed his eyes in defeat.

 

**FRIDAY 20:30**

Isak was disappointed to find the flat dark and empty. He had hoped that Even would be back already when he came home but he was not surprised. Whenever he was helping out with wedding stuff Even would come home late. He checked his messages but there were no new ones from Even. He turned on all the lights to bring warmth back into the flat but without Even it was just light, no warmth. He took a long shower in the hopes that Even would be back by the time he got out. But even then the flat was empty. He switched on the TV and began tidying up the living room out of sheer lack of knowing what else to do. It was almost 10 PM when his phone rang. Isak quickly picked up, it was Even’s mother.

 “Hello Isak, this is Sigrid”.

 “Hello”, Isak said nervously. She had never before called him directly.

 “Even is going to stay at home with us for the night. I wanted to let you know…”, she said hesitant.

 “Oh”, was all Isak could say. “Did – did something happen?” he finally managed to ask after a long minute of silence.

 “He had a fight with his brother”, Sigrid said. It was quiet for a long time and Isak felt increasingly uncomfortable as he heard her sniffle. She was crying.

 “It’s all my fault”, she sobbed out.

 “Why?” Isak asked.

 “I called Even and told him unceremoniously that Andreas is back in town. I shouldn’t have told him so unprepared. I just thought that after 5 years – maybe they were over it”, she said and Isak was relieved to hear that she sounded a bit calmer.

 “Uh, what happened 5 years ago?” Isak asked.

 “Even didn’t tell you?” Sigrid asked surprised.

 “No”, Isak answered. She breathed out slowly.

 “I don’t know any details. I feel like we came when it was already too late. It was a horrible sight. The two boys were having a fist fight in the hospital and they said some really – bad stuff to each other”, she said. “We could only pull them apart”, she added.

 “Why were they fighting?” Isak asked. It was hard to control his curiosity.

 “I think Even should tell you about that…”, she said hesitant.

 “But Andreas – he always had troubles with Even’s illness. I think they never were really close – like other brothers. Maybe they were when they were little but they drifted apart very quickly and when Even’s symptoms started we didn’t know what was going on for a long time. It drove them further apart. They couldn’t connect at all anymore and then of course when the diagnosis came Andreas didn’t know how to handle it. He tried but he couldn’t find a way back to Even”, she said.

She sounded very sad. Isak didn’t know what to say. He understood Andreas’ position, before he had met Even, he hadn’t known how to handle his mother’s illness either and had ran away. He was pulling feathers out of a pillow.

 “But Even said that his brother hates him”, Isak said then.

 “What? No, I don’t believe that… Deep down Andreas loves Even. He just doesn’t know how to make up with him”.

Isak thought back on how he had reconnected with his mother and how relieved he had been. He could see why Even’s mother wanted the brothers to make up. It wasn’t just for the wedding but for their own sake. It would bring peace to their minds.

 “It scares him”, Even’s mother suddenly said. Isak flinched.

 “Sorry?” he asked puzzled.

 “Andreas doesn’t know how to connect with Even because he can’t understand him. He finds it scary when Even goes into an episode”, she said.

 “Why, Even is not dangerous?!” Isak said upset. She sighed. “I think you’d have to ask Andreas”.

Isak frowned. Even had not experienced any major manic episodes after the one where he had gone out naked. Isak had been scared, too that night. But he had been scared because he hadn’t understood what was going on. He had been scared _for_ Even; that something could happen to him. He had never been scared of Even.

 “Maybe I can – I could talk to Andreas”, Isak offered awkwardly. “I also had to learn how to handle it”. She laughed.

 “That is very sweet of you, Isak. Maybe… but I don’t want to put this burden on you. Even and Andreas should clear that between the two of them”, she said. Isak hummed.

 “Okay, then”, he said.

 “I think Even will come home this weekend. He’ll surely contact you soon”, she said.

 “Okay”, Isak said again. “Is he –?” he started.

 “No, he is very agitated however. Is he taking his meds? It looks like he is in the beginning of an episode”, she said very quietly.

 “I thought so too. But he is taking his meds”, Isak said.

He wanted to add that maybe it was better for Even if he stopped getting too involved with the wedding organisations and thought of a good way to formulate it.

 “I don’t want to overthink this. It’s just a general stressful situation, I think anyone would be – a little tense. So I don’t want to simply assume”, she said. Isak nodded and then remembered that she couldn’t see him. “Yeah, right”. They said good night and hung up.

Isak went to bed waiting for a message from Even but none came. So he finally wrote Even instead.

 

> _Isak 23:55_
> 
> Good night, Even. <3

He kept checking his phone, rolling around in bed unable to fall asleep. But Even didn’t respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the delay! I hope you enjoyed this new chapter. Finally a little hint why Even doesn't want to introduce Isak to Emily. Any guesses what happened 5 years ago?
> 
> Thank you so much for all your long and wonderful comments! I'm always so happy and excited to read your thoughts and opinions!!


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SO SORRY for the delay. The semester started and it got very busy. I certainly won't abandon this story but I will move my update-time to the weekend as I don't have time during the week.

**SATURDAY 13:47**

Isak heaved the groceries onto the kitchen table. He threw out the expired milk and then began putting the groceries into the fridge.

 “Onions don’t go into the fridge”.

Isak jumped and dropped the onions and bumped his shoulder hard against the open fridge door as he turned around. Even was standing in the kitchen.

 “I didn’t hear you come in”, Isak said his heart racing.

 “Hello”, Even said and smiled.

 “Hi”, Isak murmured unsure. Even picked up the onions and closed the fridge. Then he looked at Isak.

 “Sorry. I didn’t know what to tell you”, Even said. Isak frowned and waited for Even to continue.

 “I went to my brother’s house and we got into a fight. Everyone was stressing about it and yeah”, he said.

 “Everything okay now?” Isak asked carefully.

 “All chill”, Even said with a smile.

 “Good”, Isak said and Even kissed him. They tied up the kitchen together and Even seemed in a very good mood.

 “How about I make lunch?” he said throwing a tomato up in the air and catching it again.

 “Okay”, Isak said. He hadn’t eaten yet and he had missed Even’s cooking. Even switched on the radio and grabbed Isak by the hips and whirled him around.

 “Wow!” Isak called surprised and stumbled.

But Even was holding him tightly, his laughter tickled Isak’s neck. Nothing felt nicer than sinking into Even’s shoulder and feeling his arms around him. Even made him dance around the kitchen for two whole songs until he finally showed mercy and let him go again.

 “Didn’t you want to make lunch?” Isak asked when Even left the kitchen.

 “Sure, I just had a good idea for my project”, he said. Isak followed him into the living room where Even began rummaging through the drawer and pulled out a sketchbook.

 “Project?” Isak asked and looked over Even’s shoulder. “What kind of project?”

Even had already started drawing. He had started this sketchbook full of drawings and notes just months ago. There wasn’t much in it yet, mostly doodles. But now it looked like Even wanted to seriously work on something. So seriously that Even was completely absorbed in it and seemed to have forgotten about lunch. Isak stood a little lost in the kitchen, trying to cook by himself. He had helped out and watched Even more than often enough to know a few basics. But still, he was hopeless. He didn’t want to waste any food either so after putting out several ingredients he simply put them back into the fridge and settled for sandwiches. He made enough for Even and himself. He put Even’s portion onto a plate and placed it next to Even who was still drawing and writing. In the meantime he had already filled several pages, his writing was a bit sloppy as if he had had troubles keeping up with his thoughts.

 “Even?” Isak said carefully.

 “Where would you go if you could go anywhere?” Even asked and looked up.

 “I – uh”, Isak said surprised. “I don’t know”, he murmured and shoved the plate closer to Even. “It’s just sandwiches but let’s eat something, okay?”

Even picked up the sandwich and took a hearty bite. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. You’d walk through the door and could turn up anywhere. Unless you made a wish and it really took you there. But how would you have known that you had to make a wish?” Even said. Isak shook his head.

 “I don’t know”, he said. Even hummed and started drawing into his sketchbook. Isak flinched when Even suddenly got up and went into the bedroom and came back.

 “Even, uh let’s finish lunch, okay?” he said and took his arm.

 “Huh? Yeah, yeah. Sure”, Even said.

As soon as they had finished lunch, Even closed his sketchbook and helped him wash the dishes. He hummed along to the song playing and gently bumped his hip into Isak.

 “Are you worried over your exams?” Even asked.

 “Huh?” Isak asked surprised. “No, I mean there is one next week, but I’m studying with Sana”, he said.

 “You’ll be fine, genius”, Even said and kissed him. Isak smiled.

 

**SUNDAY 17:36**

Isak was shivering. It had stopped raining but the rain had brought a fresh coldness and he had not taken his jacket with him. He had slipped out quickly while Even was working again on his new film project with the excuse to take out the trash. His hand holding the phone felt already numb as he waited impatiently for his call to be taken.

 “Hello?”

 “Hi, Sigrid. This is Isak”, he said.

 “Oh, Isak! How are you?” Sigrid said pleasantly surprised. Isak hesitated and cleared his throat. “How are you?” she asked to bridge his nervous silence.

 “Fine. Uh, exams are coming up”, he said. But he hadn’t called Even’s mother to talk about his worries over exams.

 “And Even?” she asked cautiously.

 “That’s why I’m calling”, Isak said. “I think the wedding organisation is a bit too much for him. It stresses him out and he’s definitely at the beginning of a cycle. So… uh”, Isak said and took a deep breath. “Maybe – it would be better if Even wasn’t pressured too much into helping out constantly. I mean, I understand you guys need help”, Isak said quickly.

 “Isak”, Sigrid interrupted him. “No one pressures Even. I understand – you’re right it’s probably better if Even took a break from the wedding stuff. I should have known that it would stress him out”, she said. Isak frowned.

 “You didn’t ask Even to help out?” he asked.

 “No, I was a bit surprised that he actually wanted to be so involved. So I thought or hoped it could be – good for him. But apparently not…”, she said. She sounded surprised.

 “Why?” her voice changed. “Did he say I was forcing him to get involved?” she asked. “No one is forcing him. We always ask if he wants to or not but he actually offered his help with a lot of things”, she said.

Isak looked up. He was standing outside the apartment complex and could see their living room window. A shadow was moving. Why was Even lying to him?

 “Okay”, Isak just said. “I’ll talk to him”.

He walked back inside and sighed in relief at the comfortable warmth that welcomed him. When he got back into the flat, he heard pots moving and sizzling. Even was apparently cooking.

 “Hi”, Isak said as he walked into the kitchen. Even looked up and smiled. “Hey”. Isak began helping Even cutting vegetables while trying to order his thoughts.

 “Do you plan on helping out with wedding stuff this week, too?” Isak asked causally. Even hummed.

 “Probably, why?” he asked. Isak bit his lip, then he turned to face Even.

 “If it’s stressing you out, you don’t have to go. I’m sure they’d understand”, Isak said. Even frowned.

 “I’m not stressed out”, he said. “I’m happy –“, he continued but Isak interrupted him. “Even”. He shook his head.

 “Last Friday was just a misunderstanding, it’s fine”, Even said suddenly very sharply.

 “Okay”, Isak said taken aback. “I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to stress yourself over it – and if you want to I don’t know… talk about it or something”, Isak said. Even smiled and kissed Isak.

“Yeah”.

 

**WEDNESDAY 15:45**

Isak squatted down with an exasperated groan and began collecting all the papers and books that had fallen to the floor once again as he had opened his bursting locker. He pulled everything out of his locker and began sorting out all the old stuff that he could throw away. It took him half an hour and the school hallway was empty by the time he had finally sorted everything out. He got up and another paper sailed to the ground. He must have sat on it. He picked it up and unfolded it. It was a drawing. Isak knew immediately that it was from Even. It had been a year since Even had made him a drawing like this.

It showed two scenes of them cooking. Even was wearing a chef’s hat and he looked very grumpy in the left scene, Isak looked sad. In the right scene they were both laughing.

“IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE EVEN AND ISAK TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT’S GOING ON”

Isak started at the drawing. Even must have put it into his jacket at some time. Everything that’s going on…

 

**WEDNESDAY 16:27**

Isak was on his way to the tram when he unexpectedly spotted a familiar face across the street. It was Even. Isak was surprised after all Even had to work today. Could his shift already be over? He waved but Even didn’t see him. Isak weaved his way through the people and finally got a clear sight. Even hadn’t seen him because he was talking to a young woman. She was a lot smaller than him, so Isak hadn’t seen her before. Isak couldn’t say whether it was the same woman Even had walked home the other week because it had been dark. There was no way telling it but he had a strong feeling that this woman was this mysterious Emily. Isak wondered what would happen if he just crossed the street and forced a meeting. The traffic lights turned green and Isak hurried across the street as the two walked further away from him. He only saw their backs now. Isak’s insides gave an uncomfortable squirm when he saw Even putting his arm around her shoulders. He didn’t mind Even hugging his friends – but he didn’t know who this woman was and why Even kept her a secret from Isak. Suddenly the two disappeared. Isak stopped in his tracks and an elderly woman bumped into him.

 “Sorry”, he muttered as he looked around. He finally spotted them again in a car driving away. Isak stood there on the sidewalk for a long time. He was confused and he had to admit it – he was terribly jealous and hurt. Why would Even leave him a drawing like this? Did talking about everything include telling him about this woman as well?

He couldn’t ignore it any longer and made up his mind to confront Even when he got home.

 

**WEDNESDAY 18:23**

Isak was nervous and wished he had something to smoke but since it wasn’t any good for Even, he kept nothing at home anymore. Even was not home yet and so Isak paced through the flat. He had started doing his homework assignment but hadn’t been able to concentrate so he had stopped halfway through it. He had opened the fridge five times as if a cooked meal would appear magically if only he wished for it strongly enough. Then he had finally sat down at the table in the living room. Even’s sketchbook was lying there and it was open. Isak usually didn’t look into Even’s stuff, it wasn’t necessary, Even gladly shared everything. A page was ripped out and from the looks of it, it had been used for the drawing Even had put into Isak’s jacket. Isak turned the pages. There were several notes and drawings that didn’t make much sense to Isak. He flipped another page. There was another drawing, it didn’t look like Even had drawn it, the style was completely different. It were four animals and they looked very cute. Something Isak would expect of a children’s book maybe.

He flipped another page when he heard the door opening. Isak flinched and quickly returned the sketchbook to the state it had been and got up. Even came in and he flung his arms around Isak which almost pulled him off his feet.

 “Uh, hi”, Isak said overwhelmed. “Thanks for the drawing”, he added when Even pulled back for a moment.

Even smiled and kissed him again. Then Even put down a large bag onto the table.

 “What is that?” Isak asked.

 “For my film project”, Even said.

Isak felt anxiety rising inside him when Even began emptying the bag. Even’s parents had told him to make sure that Even had no credit card access when he was in a manic phase but the last days had been so messy and Isak had not been too sure. They had not spent as much time as usual together the last weeks, ever since the wedding stuff had started…

It was not the time to discuss it but Isak was tired and annoyed and anxious. He had put it off for too long now.

 “On my way home from school I saw you with a girl”, he said directly. He didn’t know what else to say. Even was still busy unpacking.

 “I’m going to build an epic set with this”, Even said instead.

 “Even”, Isak said, his voice was trembling. But Even didn’t notice, he kept explaining what he had bought and what he was planning. But Isak really had no patience to listen this time.

 “Even, if this girl has anything to do with this film project – or I don’t know – maybe she’s just a friend… just tell me”, it burst out of him. He couldn’t take it anymore. Even shortly turned around.

 “Actually, the protagonist is a man”, Even said and showed him a male puppet. “And the other character is also male”, he continued. “But if I added a girl – she’d be a princess. But Emma isn’t a princess”.

Isak frowned. “Emma?”

Even hummed. “Yeah, right”.

It was impossible to discuss anything right now. Isak left the living room and pulled the door to the bedroom shut. He shouldn’t leave Even alone right now but he was too upset and distracted to put up with it. He climbed onto the bed and got under the sheets. While he was lying there all sorts of nasty ideas were running through his head. Taking Even’s phone to contact Emily himself, confronting her, trying to get something out of Even. By the end of it he was just disgusted with himself. At the same time he remembered Sonja who must have felt a lot like him right now when Even had started something with Isak. He was just playing with the thought of contacting Sonja when the door opened. Even came into the bedroom and rummaged through the closet. Then he stopped and turned around. He jumped onto the bed.

 “Why are you already in bed? It’s too early to go to bed!” he said. Isak looked at him and couldn’t find the strength to fake a smile.

 “I’m in bed because I’m upset”, Isak said.

 “Why?” Even asked surprised and grasped Isak’s shoulders. “Today is such a good day”, he said with a broad smile.

 “No, it’s not”, Isak contradicted.

 “I think one can see the stars tonight”, Even said happily.

 “Who’s Emily?” Isak asked again. He almost regretted it when he saw Even’s face change within seconds.

 “Why are you bringing this up now?” Even asked.

He looked angry. Isak stared at him. He didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to fight. So neither of them slept that night. Even was walking through the living room, building his set until 3 am and Isak didn’t really feel like trying to convince Even to go to bed. So Even didn’t notice that Isak had cried through the night.

 

**FRIDAY 07:13**

Isak had been almost glad to spend the entire Thursday at school. He knew he was supposed to take care of Even but it was difficult to stay calm with everything going on. Exams were inching closer with every week ad responsibilities and duties seemed to pile up more and more. Even had been overly enthusiastic and in a good mood when Isak had come home. Isak had to remind Even to eat and drink. When he had not been able to convince Even to sleep at 1 AM he had given up and went to bed without him. As Isak now rolled out of bed, he saw that Even had not slept all night. He was still in the living room. There were piles of notes, ripped out pages of his sketchbook and his makeshift miniature film set that he had built himself.

 “Good morning”, Isak said tentatively. Even shortly looked up.

 “Do you want to see my set? I just finished it. The plot is almost done”, Even said. Isak nodded.

 “But let’s make breakfast first”, Isak said. He went into the kitchen to make tea and coffee and saw that they were out of bread.

 “I’ll go out to buy some bread. I’ll be back in 5 minutes. You stay here, okay? You need to show me your set, right?” Isak said. Even nodded. “Yeah, I still got to work on the plot”.

Isak’s eyes fell on the piles of notes and pictures on the table. It had been his idea for Even to channel his ideas and thoughts into art and words. Although Even’s thought process was very hard to follow when he was manic, he was very creative and had interesting ideas and he drew lots of good pictures or comics as well. But the drawing that Isak spotted on the top of the pile looked nothing like Even usually drew. It was a portrait of Even himself, just drawn with pencil. On the picture Even had averted his face and it looked like he was turning to someone or something that had not been drawn yet or left out. Isak turned around and before he left to buy fresh bread, he slipped into the bathroom to check whether Even had been taking his meds. His meds couldn’t prevent his manic phases but they slowed him down, made them less intense. If – and only if – Even had been taking them. But when Isak opened the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, he saw that there were no pills in the box at all anymore.

 

> _Isak 7:30_
> 
> Hi Jonas, can’t come today. Can I copy your notes later?

He left to go out to the shop and he hurried with anxiety pumping through his veins. He had a feeling that Even had not been taking his meds and worse, that he had thrown them away. He had done this once before and they had gotten into a fight over this. They had made up later of course but it had been awful. There was no lying about that.

 

> _Jonas 7:37_
> 
> Sure
> 
> Is it because of Even? Everything alright?
> 
> _Isak 7:37_
> 
> Yeah, don’t know…

 

Isak was relieved that Even was still in the living room when he came back. He hurried over to Isak and pulled him into a tight hug.

 “Hi”, he said and pressed a kiss onto Isak’s lips.

 “Hey”, Isak said. He put the bag with the groceries down. “Even”.

Even who had pulled him over to the table to show him his set looked at him with a broad smile. “Even, listen. Did you take your meds?” Isak asked unceremoniously.

 “Yeah, of course”, Even said. “You asked me to, so obviously I did”. Isak frowned.

 “No, you didn’t. There are no pills in the box. Did you throw them out?” he asked. Even shrugged.

 “It doesn’t matter. I’m fine”, he said. He grabbed Isak’s shoulders and smiled. “I’m fucking fine. And just when you came in through the door, it gave me the best idea for the plot. You’re my muse, did you know?” Even said and kissed him again.

 “Really, how so?” Isak asked.

 “There are actually nine of them”, Even said.

 “Nine of what?” Isak asked.

 “Yeah, you’re just one. I just need one. Just you, right?” Even said and grinned. Isak couldn’t follow.

 “Uh, so what about the idea I gave you?” he asked. Even looked shortly confused. “You said, I  gave you an idea when I came in”, Isak said. Even nodded.

They sat down on the overloaded table and Even told Isak the plot to his film idea. Isak thought it was actually very creative and interesting, except for the few bits that he could not quite understand. It was about a lonely man who never left his house, who had never seen the outside world, tasted food or drinks. There is a door in his house that leads to any place in the world you want to go, but because he never leaves, he doesn’t know. But one day, the door opens and another man stumbles in by accident. He had just tried to open his own front door but had somehow ended up in the lonely man’s house. They speak only shortly but the lonely man experiences to be with someone for the first time. When the man leaves, it pains him greatly.

 “If you once knew what it was to be with someone, loneliness weighs a hundred times heavier”, Even said. And there was a long pause.

 “And then?” Isak asked into the silence. “Does he follow the man? It sounds like they were meant to meet – be together”, Isak said. Even turned his head. It had started raining outside.

 “Both begin to look for each other. The other man tries to open every door in the hopes it will lead him back to the house”, Even said.

 “And the other man? The lonely one. Does he leave the house?” Isak asked curiously.

 “Yeah, he opens the door and steps outside. He has never been to any place so he does not wish for any place. He steps outside and is overwhelmed. He wanders around through the night and thinks the world is beautiful. But it reminds him how lonely he is”, Even said.

 “Why?” Isak asked.

 “He doesn’t have anyone to tell how beautiful the world is. What is a story if you cannot tell it?” Isak hesitated. “But does he find the other man?” Even leaned back.

 “No, he has never seen the world. As he sees his reflection in a window across the street he thinks it is the other man”, Even said.

 “But he would notice if he touched the glass?” Isak commented. “No, he does not”.

Isak frowned. “Why not?”

– “Because he dies”.

Isak was taken aback. “He dies?” Even gave him a side glance.

 “The protagonist must always die. He gets hit by a car as he crosses the street”.

Isak hummed. “But then the two men never find each other?” Even shook his head. “The other man finds him on the street”.

Isak stared at Even. “After he died? That’s sad”. Even smiled. “A good film has to be sad”.

 

**FRIDAY – SATURDAY 01:03**

Isak was having an odd dream. Jonas was rummaging his bedroom but he didn’t want to tell Isak what he was looking for and then Sana turned up claiming Isak had taken her biology book. It was very loud.

Isak sat up, finally waking from his dream. He felt sweaty and uncomfortable. Something was not right and as he turned on the lights he immediately saw why. The bedroom looked ransacked, several drawers of the cupboard had been pulled open and rummaged through. Had someone broken in? He turned to his side but Even was not in bed with him although he had been able to convince Even to sleep. Isak slipped out of bed and tiptoed out of the bedroom. “Even?” he whispered. The lights were on in the living room. The note piles had been moved, there were piles on the sofa, the floor and the table. They looked deliberately placed but Isak could not tell why. “Even?” he asked louder. Then he rushed to check the kitchen and bathroom but Even was nowhere to be found. His phone was not there either and when Isak called it, Even did not pick up. It felt like being thrown into the nightmare he had went through when Even had left their hotel room entirely naked and Isak had not known what was going on. But this time they had gone to bed fully dressed so maybe Even was not walking around naked. Isak grabbed his jacket and shoes and dashed outside while calling Even again. When he did not pick up again, he quickly texted Even’s mother.

 

> _Isak 01:07_
> 
> Even is gone. He went out at night, I’m looking for him.

He felt guilty. This should not have happened, he was responsible for checking that Even took his medicaments and did not go out at night like this. But he had been so tired and exhausted and full of doubts. The plot of Even's film came to his mind and he felt very sick at the thought that Even was walking around on streets.

 

**FRIDAY – SATURDAY 01:44**

Even felt like he could run a marathon. It was best to look for a filming location under the same conditions as filming. Especially if it was going to be a grand film as his, it would blow everyone off their seats. It needed the best locations for an award-winning film. His debut film! Isak had told him that it was great, of course it was. He walked along a wide alley with trees.

That house looked great! The street was perfect for the car scene. No, this one was even better. All the houses lay in darkness, only illuminated by the street lamps. Good aesthetic.

There was a bright light up ahead. The lights were on in one house. Someone was awake and come into the brightly lit room. Even was walking closer, he could now tell it was a woman who had just put down a cup on the table. Maybe he should include a female character into his story. That had been missing! He climbed over the garden fence and approached the kitchen window. Suddenly the woman turned around and Even started laughing. How odd! The woman looked exactly like Emily. The window was pushed open and the woman appeared.

 “Even!”

She did not just look like Emily, it was Emily.

 “What are you doing here?” she asked.

 “Hunting for shooting locations. It’s the right time. You should see the street – it is perfect for the car scene but there was not the right window and the lights need to be adjusted. I thought of the antiques shop with the large window front. When we went to France –“, Even said. Emily nodded.

 “Come in then you can tell me more”, she said. She opened the kitchen door and let him in quietly.

 “Here sit down”, she said and pushed the cup towards him. It was freshly brewed tea.

 “I’ve got to change the plot”, Even said.

 “Okay”, Emily said. She ripped of several pages from a notebook and then pushed it toward him. “Want to note them down?” He shook his head and began telling his story instead.

 “Does Isak know you’re working on your film project?” Emily asked after Even had tried to tell his story to her but it was difficult with all the changes he had made.

 “Of course”, Even said.

 “I mean does he know that you went out to hunt for filming locations?” Emily asked.

 “He’s sleeping. Waste of time. The night is the best time to be productive, you know that right? You’re working, too right?” Even said.

 “Why don’t we call him? He could join us”, Emily suggested gently. “Do you’ve got your phone with you?” she asked. Even put it on the table. “Come, meanwhile you can sketch out your changes to the plot”, she said. Emily quietly left the kitchen but Even didn’t notice.

She saw that Even had 7 missed calls and all of them were from Isak.

When she clicked call, it had hardly been a second when the call was picked up.

 “Even?!” The voice at the other end sounded strained and out of breath. Isak must have been running around outside looking for Even.

 “Uhm, no. This is Emily, but Even is here with me. Don’t worry, he’s okay but I think you might want to come over”, Emily said and gave him the address.

 

**FRIDAY – SATURDAY 2:24**

Isak felt dizzy and slightly sick when he got off the train. He had never been to this part of Oslo. He felt out of place between the large fancy houses in this wealthy area. Had there been no street lamps most of them would have been entirely engulfed in darkness as the walls were all black. Even was at Emily’s place. He didn’t know what to make out of it, Emily however seemed to know about him and had called him. He was so confused he felt like his head was about to explode. Finally he arrived at the address. It was the only house with lights on. Isak walked up the paved path to the house and saw that there was a side door to the kitchen. Even was sitting at the kitchen table, completely absorbed in something. Isak flinched when the front door opened.

 “You!” it burst out of him when he saw the woman standing there. It was the woman he had seen Even with on Wednesday. She looked startled at his outburst.

 “Uh, hi. You must be Isak. Come in”, she said however in a pleasant and calm tone as if she had invited Isak for afternoon tea.

Isak stepped inside. She was smaller than him and her dark hair was braided back. She was pretty and her eyes looked very alert and awake despite how late it was. Isak couldn’t help but feel even more jealous right now. Even had chosen to go to her… As he stared down at her, he noticed a thick scar on her exposed shoulder that seemed to reach much further down over her chest but was hidden under her loose shirt. Isak shivered at the sight of it.

 “You’re the girl Even is secretly dating”, he said, not able to hold back. Emily stared at him for a moment and then laughed. Isak had not thought a frail person like her could produce such a loud sound.

 “Sorry, it’s not funny – but oh dear… it is. I’m Emily? Andreas’ fiancée”, she said. “I’m getting married to Even’s brother”, she explained further when Isak still seemed confused.

 “Even didn’t tell you about me, did he?” she said and nodded.

 “No, not a word. He always avoided talking about… so I thought he was –“, Isak murmured.

 “Yeah, I thought so… Even on the other hand talked non-stop about you. I feel like I already know you”, Emily said with a smile.  

Isak was completely confused. Why hadn’t Even told him about Emily? If only Even had told him that he was helping out the bride it would have cleared up so much for Isak. Why had Even made such a secret out of her?

 “He’s in the kitchen. Do you want a cup of tea?”

Isak shook his head and Emily guided him into the kitchen. “Hi, Even”, Isak muttered. Even looked up and jumped to his feet.

“Isak”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isak finally met Emily! I included the night from Friday to Saturday in this chapter to make up for the delay with my update.. What do you think of their meeting? Will Isak finally find out why Even kept her a secret?  
> I hope you enjoyed this update!


	5. Five

**SATURDAY 03:47**

Even was working tirelessly on his project but the closer Isak looked the more he saw that Even wasn’t actually doing anything on the idea he had told him. It was more incoherent notes and doodles on his sketchbook pages. He sometimes would pace through the room, go to the bathroom only to return seconds later.

Emily on the other hand seemed to be working for real. She was typing on her laptop but when she noticed that the typing seemed to excite Even more, she stopped. Isak was trying to talk to Even but it was getting harder by the second to connect with him or maybe Isak was too tired.

 “Isak, if you want to take a nap, it’s fine. I’ll be up all night anyways”, Emily said quietly to Isak when Even had gotten up again. Isak looked at her, he could hardly keep his eyes open anymore. She smiled.

 “I’m afraid I can only offer the living room for now, we haven’t finished furnishing the guest room”, she said. “Give me a second”.

She got up and Isak heard her rummaging and pushing stuff around in the room next door as quietly as she could. She went upstairs and returned a few minutes later in the kitchen. In her arms she was carrying bed sheets and clothes. She signalled Isak to follow her. Even was sitting at the kitchen table again.

 “He looks like he is getting exhausted”, she murmured. Isak hummed.

 “Here”, Emily said and handed Isak the clothes. It was a pair of sweat pants and a shirt. “They’re Andreas’, so they’re probably too big for you but at least more comfortable”.

She led him through the hallway into the living room where she had already pulled out the sofa into a bed. She quickly pulled the bed sheets over the sofa bed and threw several pillows onto it as well. “Here you go. If you need anything just call, alright?” she said with a smile. She left and Isak changed into Andreas’ clothes, only then he noticed that the hems of his trousers had been soaked and were dirty. He was glad for the fresh clothes although they smelled unfamiliar and he felt uncomfortable wearing someone’s clothes whom he didn’t know. He climbed onto the sofa bed and fell asleep immediately.

 

**SATURDAY 06:11**

 “It’s already morning, Even. Do you want to join Isak for a couple of hours of sleep? Just take a little break”, Emily said. Even did not react. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked exhausted. From what Isak had told Emily, Even had hardly slept this week.

The door opened and Emily looked up expecting Isak but it was Andreas. He stared at Even and then at Emily. Emily quickly got up and rushed over to him. “Good morning”, she whispered. “Now is not a good time”, she said as she ushered him back out into the hallway.

 “What the hell is he doing here?” Andreas hissed.

Isak stirred and blinked. He was in an unfamiliar room and for a few moment he did not know how he had gotten here. He wondered whether he was still dreaming and then he remembered the long last night. He pushed back the covers and got up. It was still rather dark in the living room, so it was either very early or he had slept through the day. He heard hushed voices outside the door and held his breath to listen.

 “I told you I do not want him here again!”

 “Andreas, he came here last night in a manic state, you don’t expect me to send him away!”

 “I do! Precisely, that’s what I want you to do. Send him away. We’re not having him here when he’s manic!”

Isak couldn’t help it, he pushed open the door and faced Emily and a tall man. He was wearing a suit and when he turned around, Isak was startled at the similarity between him and Even. This had to be Even’s older brother. He was taller than Even and his hair was darker and shorter than Even’s and his facial features were sharper. He looked very angry.

 “And who is this? Is this a hotel now?” he asked roughly.

 “This is Isak. Even’s boyfriend”, Emily said quickly.

 “Fine, then he can take him home, right?” Andreas said harshly.

 “He’s not in a state to go anywhere right now”, Emily said.

 “Isak, would you excuse us for a second?” she asked. Isak nodded and went back into the dark living room. He sat back down on the sofa bed. Emily and Andreas seemed to go somewhere else because their voices disappeared. Isak had laid down again waiting for what – he did not know. But he fell asleep again.

 

**SATURDAY 13:25**

When Isak woke up again, the living room was bright with sun light and when he shifted he saw that Even was lying next to him. He was fast asleep. Careful as not to wake up Even, Isak got up. He was starving and thirsty. But now that he saw the room in light, curiosity got the better of him and he looked around. The living room was not very big, there was the sofa bed Even and he had slept on, next to it a large book case that reached up to the ceiling. On the other side of the bed was a big window with white curtains drawn. The room was full of book shelves but in between books there were several small souvenirs. A bookstand in the form of a white elephant, a building that could have been an Asian temple, a miniature castle, small elegant looking animals made from glass. The free spots on the walls were decorated with drawings. The style looked familiar to Isak, simple pencil drawings. Portraits. They were signed with a simple “E”. But one drawing drew Isak’s attention, it looked a bit out of place. It was pinned to the wall in between two bookcases. It was the same little comic Even had drawn in his sketchbook. Four cute animals. It had been drawn on yellowish paper, or maybe the drawing was so old it had turned this colour. It was not signed.

Isak’s stomach gave a loud growling sound to remind him how hungry he was. So he quietly left the living room and went into the kitchen. He wasn’t sure what to do and hoped to find Emily. In daylight he could properly see how new the house was and how modern. He felt even more uncomfortable with the thought of how rich Andreas and Emily had to be to afford this house in this area. Even’s family wasn’t poor but they were surely not this well off to support the two like that.

Isak was relieved to find Emily in the kitchen. She was sitting at the table, typing rapidly on her laptop. “Good morning”, she said, looking shortly up. “Hungry?” Isak nodded.

She pointed over her shoulder. “Help yourself”. Isak walked around the table to the kitchen counter where he found a big basket of fruit, a fully stocked bread basket and a large pot of tea that Emily seemed to have made just now.

 “There is juice in the fridge. You can make coffee if you want to. Butter, ham, cheese, everything in the fridge, too. We’ve also got milk and cereal if you prefer that”, she said while she picked up writing again. “Thank you”, Isak said uncomfortably as he opened the large fridge.

 “When did Even go to bed?” Isak asked. Emily shortly looked at the kitchen clock. “Just now – half an hour ago”. Isak sat down at the kitchen table and ate while Emily was typing away. When Isak had finished eating, she looked up.

 “Even will probably stay here until he feels strong enough to leave”, she said. Isak nodded. “Yeah, that’ll take him… a while”. She smiled.

 “You’ve got school, I guess?” she asked. Isak had almost forgotten that he had a test on Tuesday.

 “Seems like I’ve reminded you of a very uncomfortable thing coming up”, she said, reading his face.

 “I have a test on Tuesday”, he said. She nodded.

 “Then it’s probably best if you went home to study. You can’t do much for him right now”, she said. Isak would have agreed if Even was at home with his parents but he thought of Andreas and couldn’t help but shake his head.

 “Is this really the best place for Even now – I mean – Andreas didn’t look like he was happy about Even being here”, Isak said carefully. Emily eyed him.

 “You think it’ll be better if you stay here?” she asked.

Isak flushed. He had not wanted to force his stay here, after all they didn’t really know each other and he couldn’t expect her to let him stay over just because Even was here. But to Isak’s surprise Emily nodded and closed her laptop.

 “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll call you a taxi”, she said and got up.

 “Uh, where to?” he asked confused.

 “Well, home. So you can pick up all your school stuff and study materials, right?” she said. Isak blinked.

 “So I can stay?” he asked. Emily shrugged. “I suppose it’s best for Even to have you here, too”.

Isak cleared his throat. “I can take the train, it’s fine. You don’t have to call a taxi, it’d be too much”, he murmured. Emily looked surprised. “But it’s a lot faster”. Isak shook his head.

 “It’s fine”, he murmured. He quickly got changed into his own clothes and handed Andreas’ clothes back to Emily.

 “Will Andreas be ok with it? That I stay, too, I mean”, he asked. “I’ll call him, but he’ll be fine with it. You’ll see”.

Isak didn’t know what to make out of that and left. In daylight the area looked even more impressive with the large houses. Isak hoped he wouldn’t stand out too much as he hurried to the train.

 

**SATURDAY 18:12**

Isak had been studying at the kitchen table while Emily was working next to him. Isak wondered how she was not tired yet, she had been awake with Even through the night. The kitchen table was clean now, she had tidied up Even’s sketchbook and notes. Isak was bursting with questions but he did not know where to start and which questions he was allowed to ask.

 “Yes?” she asked. She was looking at him as if she had read his mind. Isak shifted on his chair.

 “You know how to handle it”, he said, looking at Even’s neatly stacked up notes. She tilted her head with a smile. “Sometimes”. Isak frowned at her strange answer.

 “It’s something you learn on the go and it’s different with each person”, she continued when she saw his puzzled look.

 “You’ve known him for a long time then?” Isak asked. Emily hummed.

 “Well, I met him when he was around 13, so I’ve known him for … 6 years. Is that long?” she asked.

 “He spent a lot of time with you – I mean… you two seem close”, Isak started. Emily smiled.

 “You don’t have to worry about that”, she said kindly. Isak flushed.

 “Yeah, I just – wondered why he never told me about you”, he muttered.

 “It’s his decision which parts of his life he wants to share and which he does not want to share”, she said. “We were not in touch for 5 years, so it’s not really surprising he did not tell you”, she added.

“You weren’t in touch with each other?” Isak asked surprised.

 “No, I guess you could say it was very complicated”, she said.

 “He said that about his brother, too. That it is complicated”, Isak said. Emily nodded. “Yeah, well it is true”. She leaned back.

 “It’s not like I didn’t want to be in contact with Even”, she said then. Isak frowned. He couldn’t follow her.

 “Why then -?” he asked. Isak felt taken aback at the change of her eyes. She looked very hurt.

 “Even didn’t want to. But it probably is also because of his brother”, Emily said quietly.

Isak had to turn away, he felt like he was asking too private questions. His eyes fell on Even’s sketchbook. He opened it and flipped through the pages until he found the portrait and the comic.

 “Did you draw these?” he asked. Emily leaned forward to have a look at the pages. Her face was very hard to read.

 “I drew the portrait”, she said.

 “So you also drew the pictures in the living room? This one here is also in the living room”, Isak said and pointed at the comic.

 “I drew the portraits a long time ago”, she said. “I guess Even copied the comic. It is not mine”. Isak frowned.

 “It’s put up on the wall in the living room though… who drew it? I thought it was from a children’s book –“, he babbled.

 “No, my brother drew it for me”, Emily interrupted him. For the first time her voice was very harsh and Isak did not dare to ask another question.

They were quiet for a very long time and Isak turned back to his books. He was intimidated by Emily’s sudden change of mood and so he couldn’t concentrate very well. Emily seemed however completely unaffected and had picked up her work as if nothing had happened.

 “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to – offend you or anything”, Isak said nervously. A smile tugged at her lips.

 “You did not offend me. You could not know…”, she said. Her voice was kind and soft again but her eyes were still very distant.

She continued to type for a while and then she stopped. “He was bipolar, too”, she said then. Isak looked up confused. “What?”

Emily looked shortly at Isak. “My brother – he was bipolar, too”. Isak didn’t know what to say. He wanted to ask about her brother but he felt that she would not answer any questions.

When Isak went to the bathroom, he saw staircases leading up to the first floor. He almost had a heart attack when he had stared up the high ceiling in the hallway and something had brushed his legs. A black cat had rubbed against his legs and meowed. There was a picture of Emily and Andreas on holiday at a tropical place. Emily was wearing a dress and Isak flinched when he saw the scars all over her shoulder and chest, shining white and bright so very clearly. There was also a very long one running down her arm which he had not seen because she had been wearing long sleeves.

 “It’s our engagement picture”. Isak jumped and turned around. He had not heard Andreas coming home, he closed the front door behind him and took off his shoes and jacket. Up close and in the light, Isak saw how the similarities with Even fade away.

“It’s – uh”, Isak stuttered and cleared his throat. “Very nice. I – Emily said I could stay… I hope that’s okay”, he continued uncomfortably. Andreas smiled.

 “Yeah, I know. Emily called me. It’s alright. It’s better to have another pair of eyes watching Even”, he said as he hung up his jacket. “I’m sorry for this morning. I think we started off wrong. I’m Andreas”, he said and stretched his hand out. Isak took it and shook it. “Isak”, he said awkwardly.

 “Have you guys already had dinner?” Andreas asked. Isak shook his head.

 “I basically skipped breakfast and had just lunch – so … Emily didn’t eat anything either”, Isak said. Andreas sighed.

 “She always forgets to eat when she works. Well then, let’s make some dinner. Care to lend us a hand?” he asked. Isak cleared his throat. “Sure.”

Andreas picked up his briefcase. “I’m going to take a quick shower and put this upstairs. I’ll be with you in a minute”, he said. Isak returned to the kitchen.

 

 “Andreas is back?” Emily asked. Isak nodded. “Well, let’s clean the table then for dinner, shall we?”

They put their study and work materials and Even’s notes into the living room where Even was still sleeping.

Isak had thought it would be awkward to make dinner with Andreas and Emily but it was actually a lot of fun. Andreas was very skilled in cooking and taught Isak how to make meatballs.

 “You really never cook? Please don’t tell me you survive on pizza and fast food”, Andreas said. Isak laughed.

 “No, Even always cooks. He’s really good at it”, he said.

 “Yeah, right. He always enjoyed cooking. He used to experiment a lot. I think he almost set the kitchen on fire a few times when he was younger”, Andreas said. Emily laughed. Isak was surprised at how relaxed Andreas talked about Even.

 “Alright, now the potatoes. Be careful when you mash them up, you don’t want the milk to spill around”, Emily said as Isak pressed down so hard that the milk splashed up. 

 “Uh”, Isak said embarrassed but Emily and Andreas were laughing.

 “It’s fine. Let’s get that cleaned up”, Andreas said and showed Isak how to mash the potatoes without splashing around the milk.

When they had finished cooking, Isak took out an extra plate for Even. “I don’t think, he’ll want to eat anything but just in case”, he said. Emily smiled. “Sure”.

Emily and Andreas sat down at the table while Isak knocked on the living room door and carried in a full plate. “Even?” Even was lying with his back to Isak and he did not react. But he was too still to be asleep. Isak put the plate down on the table that had been shifted to make place for the sofa bed. “We made dinner. Meatballs. I’m going to leave this here, in case you want to eat something, ok?” Even said nothing, so Isak left.

When Isak returned to the kitchen, Andreas and Emily were talking about the wedding.

 “We should really get this done. They said they need the order a month ahead”, Andreas said. “Well, then we should finally decide”, Emily said. She smiled at Isak. “We can’t agree on the cake. I really wanted one with fruits”, she said while Andreas shook his head. Isak cleared his throat as he looked down at his plate.

 “How is that going to look like if there’s actual fruit on the cake?” Andreas said. “Excuse me?” Emily asked but she was laughing.

 “Maybe there is a frosting with fruit in it”, Isak suggested. Emily slapped down her hand onto the table. “There was one! At the really small shop we’ve been to! You don’t remember? The one with the nice lady, she had gorgeous hair”, Emily said. Andreas screwed up his face as he tried to remember.

 “We almost didn’t find the place”, Emily added.

 “Ah, right! Yeah, I remember”, Andreas said. “They had the one with the passion fruit cream, we both liked! Why didn't we take that in the first place?”, he added. Emily nodded, she looked excited and Andreas smiled softly. “We wanted to check out other places, too...", she said. "Well, I'll give her a call tomorrow".

Andreas turned to Isak who was starting to eat. “So you’re graduating soon?” he asked. Isak tried to gulp down quickly so he could answer and almost choked. He coughed and nodded.

 “Any plans for university?” Andreas asked.

 “Good lord, Andreas, he is about to finish school. Not everyone immediately wants to continue studying!” Emily said.

 “Well, I do want to go to university”, Isak said hesitant.

 “You want to take a year off before that?” Emily asked. Isak shrugged.

 “Don’t know yet. Did you start studying right away?” he asked. Emily shook her head.

 “No, no. I needed a bit of time… Andreas immediately started studying”, she said. “Take your time, no need to rush”.

Andreas grinned. “But if you go abroad to study, make sure you learn the language a bit ahead of time, so you’re not entirely lost”, he said and gently nudged Emily. She cleared her throat.

 “If I had, we wouldn’t have met”, she said and had another bite.

 “What do you mean?” Isak asked curiously.

 “Oh, when Emily came to study in Oslo, she hardly knew any Norwegian. She got lost in the university building and I ran into her”, Andreas said.

 “You were late for your class and for the record your English sucked, Mr Perfect”, Emily threw in. Andreas grinned.

 “Well, good for me because she became my English tutor”, Andreas said to Isak. Emily smiled.

 “You hardly have any accent!” Isak said surprised. Except for the name he would not have guessed that she was not Norwegian.

 “Thank you, Andreas and Even were really great teachers”, Emily said. Andreas seemed like he wanted to avoid talking about Even again so he got up and started clearing the table.

 “Well, back to study and work”, Emily said.

 “How about sleep?” Andreas suggested from the sink. Emily waved her hand. “Overrated”. Andreas sighed.

 “Alright, alright”, Emily said and smiled. But Isak saw that she went into the living room to retrieve her laptop before she went upstairs. Only then it came to Isak that he had forgotten to ask her what her job was.

 “She’s a workaholic”, Andreas said and shook his head. Isak got up to help him wash the dishes.

 “Well, looks like she has a job that she likes. That’s not something everyone can say about themselves, right?” Isak said. Andreas looked at him surprised.

 “Yeah, that’s true”. He paused for a moment. “How old are you?” he asked then. “18”, Isak answered.

Andreas nodded and they washed the dishes in silence. When they began wiping the dishes dry, Andreas picked up the conversation again. It seemed like he wanted to ask the question for a long time.

 “How long have you been with Even?” Isak looked up.

 “Uh, maybe a year?” he said. Andreas looked tense.

 “But that’s not the first time you’ve seen him – like that?” he asked then.

Isak frowned. “No, he had a manic episode before”, he said.

 “One”, Andreas muttered and huffed quietly.

 “What do you mean?” Isak asked, trying not to sound too provoking. Andreas glanced at him.

 “You’re living with him?” he asked. Isak nodded but he couldn’t follow what Andreas was driving at. “So?” he asked when Andreas didn’t continue. But Andreas shook his head and said nothing.

 

**SUNDAY 14:29**

Soft light was falling on the carpet and the piece of wall Even could see from the bed. It was very quiet, he could hear the clock ticking. He was so tired, his eyes fell shut again. His body felt so heavy, his insides like cement, pulling him down. It was a surprise he didn’t crush through the bed. It was cold but pulling the blanket higher over his shoulder was an effort he could not make. He stared at the dust twirling in the sunlight over the carpet. By now Isak had met Emily and his brother. They would have told him and Isak would not want to see him again. He would finally understand what it meant to be with him for a longer time, to really live with him. How stupid he had been to not take the pills. He’d rather bury himself under the blankets and pillows. Of course it couldn’t work out. He always ruined things. It had been that way with his brother, with Emily, with Sonja and eventually he would ruin everything with Isak, too.   

There was a quiet sound and then the mattress gave in as someone sat down. “Even?”

It was Isak. Even could not bare to look at him so he kept on staring at the dust in the sunrays. “They told you”. Isak was quiet for a long time.

 “Uh, no. What do you mean?”, he asked. Even slowly breathed out and closed his eyes.

 “You don’t have to linger around here and pity me”, the words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Sharp as knives it felt like he had cut himself on those words, the bitter aftertaste like blood in his mouth. He finally grabbed the blanket and pulled it over his head.

 “I’m not here because I pity you”, Isak said. He had not gotten up and his voice sounded very firm.

 “Don’t you have a test to study for?” Even asked. It was quiet for a long time and then finally the bed lifted as Isak got up and left the living room.

Even buried his face into the pillow and just wanted to sleep. What if they really hadn’t told Isak yet? Then it meant he had to tell it Isak himself and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

 

**TUESDAY 17:13**

Isak was switching on the lights. It was almost strange to back at their own flat after staying over at Emily’s house for the weekend. It felt like the two days had lasted for two weeks. He had went home on Monday because their flat was closer to the school than Emily’s place. Emily and Andreas had done their best to make Isak feel welcome and comfortable but as soon as the conversation shifted to Even – which it always did at some point – Andreas seemed to struggle. Emily loved telling stories about Even when she first had met him. Andreas had not asked Isak any further questions on Even and their relationship but ever since their short talk in the kitchen, Isak felt like Andreas was only trying so hard for Emily’s sake. The way he looked when Emily brought up Isak’s and Even’s relationship, made it clear to Isak that Andreas did not believe that their relationship would last. There was this mocking smile that Emily did not see but to Isak it was obvious. He felt like the questions Andreas had asked made a lot more sense now. Just one year… to Andreas that was nothing. Like Isak had no idea what it was to be with Even.

But the worst was the secret that everyone carried in that house. The incident from 5 years ago that no one wanted to address. Emily would have told Isak but she felt that it was up to Even to agree to tell the story, so she only kept reassuring Isak that it all wasn’t that bad and she did not blame Even. “Well, everyone acts like it was a big thing and like it was bad”, Isak had insisted. Emily had smiled sympathetically. “A painful secret is a heavy thing to carry around”, she had said.

Isak began tidying up the bedroom that Even had left in a mess before he had left on Friday. But soon he found himself sitting on the bed with one of Even’s T-shirts in his hand and his phone in the other.

 

> _Isak 17:23_
> 
> How’s Even?

He pressed his face into the shirt while he waited for Emily to answer.

 

> _Emily 17:24_
> 
> He’s still asleep. Why don’t you stop by tomorrow?
> 
> _Isak 17:24_
> 
> Sure. Did he eat anything yet?
> 
> _Emily 17:25_
> 
> Andreas made Even’s favourite fish soup today so he had a bit of that.

Isak let himself fall back onto the bed. He missed Even and he hated that their last interaction had been so harsh. He hoped that Even did not think Isak was gone because Even had pushed him away like that. Isak rolled over in bed and groaned. He really didn’t want to clean up the place but if Even felt better, he might be able to come home this week and then it would be better if the place was already tidied up.

With utmost effort Isak got up again and continued to tidy up the bedroom.

 

**WEDNESDAY 13:05**

 “Isak will come over later”, Emily said as she grabbed her coat.

 “When will you be back?” Andreas asked. She turned around to look at him.

 “Sometime in the evening. You’ll be fine”, she added and kissed him. “Be nice to the boys”.

With that she rushed out of the door and Andreas stood in the hallway for a few moments unsure what to do. He had taken a day off so Even would not be alone at home while Emily was out buying her wedding dress. He paced through the kitchen considering whether he should make something to eat when he heard the floors creak. He peered out into the hallway and saw Even leaving the living room. He turned and looked at Andreas.

 “Do you need anything?” Andreas asked.

 “Wanted to take a shower”, Even said. Andreas nodded.

 “Upstairs”, he said and led the way.

Andreas took out a fresh towel and hung it up. “You can use my shampoo and stuff. I mean feel free to use Emily’s if you prefer to smell like uh – wild rose”, he said as he inspected the shampoo bottle. “It’s actually nice”, he added then and put the bottle back.

 “Do you need clothes?” Andreas asked. Even did not like the prospect of having to borrow his brother’s clothes but he nodded.

 “Okay, I’ll be right back”, Andreas said and returned a minute later with fresh clothes.

 “Do you want to eat something? I was about to make something for lunch”, Andreas added. Even looked at him.

 “You don’t have to –“, he started but he didn’t know what he wanted to say.

 “Well, yeah. Then I’ll just make something and if you feel like it, you can have some of it, alright?” Andreas said and left the bathroom.

Even got into the shower and turned the water on as hot as possible. The water splashed down cold at first and made him jump but then it turned hot quickly. He let it run over his face and shoulders for a long time. When he turned off the water and rubbed the water out of his eyes, the shower was filled with steam and his skin was red. He used Andreas’ shampoo and it was odd that Even knew immediately that this was still the same one Andreas had always used. It smelled like him. It was odd how the smell reminded him off their moody arguments when they had been sharing a room. “Shut up, you’re annoying!” and “What is wrong with you?” were the phrases Even remembered most. Andreas had always said that. What is wrong with you, that had been the worst question. Then their parents had finally seen reason that their age gap was causing only problems and Andreas needed his own room. Strangely enough the smell also brought back a memory that Even didn’t know he had. He had been little, maybe 10 and he had got lost while they had been out on a family trip. He had run off, exploring on his own and it had been fun and exciting at first but then suddenly very scary when he realised that he was alone and he didn’t know the way back. Andreas had found him and Even had cried all the way back. Andreas had told him to stop crying because it was annoying but he had hugged Even and did not let go off his arm until they were back with their parents.

Even remembered that before he had gotten diagnosed, it had always been Andreas who would find him and drag him home when he got too excited and ran off. At that time they hadn’t known that Even was bipolar, it was just Even’s personality. It was typically Even, running off without thinking about it and having ideas and immediately seeing them through. Andreas had always found him, he would nag and complain about how annoying Even was but he would still come and bring him home. But one day he had simply stopped, Andreas had stopped looking for him, running after him because he had grown tired of it. And Emily had turned up instead until Andreas had stopped her and left with her. As Even stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself tightly into the towel he feared that one day Isak would grow tired of it all, too. One day Isak would not run after him and come looking for him. 

**WEDNESDAY 15:24**

Isak rang the doorbell and moments later the door was opened by Andreas. “Emily isn’t here right now”, Andreas said as he let Isak in.

 “Okay”, Isak murmured. “How’s Even?” Andreas shrugged.

 “Same as the last few days. He has hardly eaten anything. But he managed to take a shower today”, he said. Isak immediately hurried to the living room and knocked. He opened the door slowly and peered inside. Even was awake, he was staring at the ceiling. His phone was lying next to him on the bed sheets.

 “Can I come in?” Isak asked. Even turned his head and gave a terse nod. Isak closed the door behind him and climbed onto the sofa bed. He settled down next to Even and cuddled as close as possible.

 “I missed you”, he said quietly. Even looked at him, he looked like he had been crying. Isak slid closer and stroked over Even’s face and hair.

 “How was the test?” Even asked. Isak shrugged. “Okay, I guess”. Even studied Isak’s face and the sighed and turned his head away.

 “I studied enough for the test, don’t you go blaming yourself, Even”, Isak said before Even could even make another sound.

 “I studied a lot and also I’m a smart guy”, he added. He saw a little smile on Even’s lips. Even hummed.

 “It’ll only get in the way at another time”, Even said then.

 “What do you mean?” Isak asked.

 “You’ll grow tired of it”, Even said moodily. Isak frowned.

 “We talk about this, Even...", Isak started. But Even just turned his head away.

 "I don’t have study anymore, so why don’t we do something?” Isak suggested.

 “Like what?” Even asked.

 “I don’t know. Watch a movie?”, Isak asked.

 “Okay”, Even said and Isak slid off the sofa bed. There was a TV in the living room and when Isak switched it on, he saw various streaming sites available, too.

 “Should I ask Andreas -?” Isak started. Even sat up in the bed. “No, it’s fine”, he said. They looked through the movies and eventually settled for Isak’s choice, a comedy film because Even only suggested sad movies.

Even fell asleep halfway through the film. His head was rested on Isak’s shoulder, so Isak didn’t dare to move. He lowered the volume of the film and let Even sleep.

 

**WEDNESDAY 18:12**

Isak had eventually gently put Even’s head down onto the pillows and switched off the TV. When he returned from the bathroom, he heard Andreas preparing dinner in the kitchen. “Do you want me to help?” he asked sticking his head through the door. Andreas looked up.

 “Oh, Isak. Yeah, sure”.

Isak joined Andreas in the kitchen. “How’s Even?” Andreas asked.

 “He fell asleep again, but I think he’s getting a bit better”, Isak said. He paused. “He’s blaming himself again and doubting everything”. Andreas did not look up.

 “Yeah, he always does that when he’s depressive”. Isak watched Andreas cutting the meat for a few moments in silence.

 “He’s going to need constant reassurance. And you better be sure of whether you can handle that on the long run”, Andreas said. He finally looked at Isak.

 “You don’t have to give me that look, Isak. You’ve only been with him for a year. Your relationship is fresh. And believe me, there will come a time where you will think that he is selfish because he relates everything to himself, everything happens because he did or said something, everything is about him. And you will think so, too. Everything is always about Even”, Andreas said.

Isak shook his head. “He’s not selfish”. Andreas gave a short laugh.

 “In a few years, you’ll think different about this. You’ll grow tired of it”. Isak’s head snapped around at those words. Those were Even’s words.

 “Did you say that to him?” Isak asked heated. “Did you tell him you’ve grown tired of him?” he asked. Andreas looked surprised at Isak’s sudden anger.

 “We’re brothers. Of course, I said that at some point of time”. Isak turned back to the food they were preparing.

 “Just because you have grown tired of him doesn’t mean everyone else will”, Isak said.

 “It’s not easy to put up with his crazy ideas”, Andreas started.

 “He’s not crazy”, Isak threw in.

 “I did not say that. If he wants to learn the script to Romeo and Juliet by heart, then fine. But when he actually gets into it, his ideas are just dangerous and someone always ends up getting hurt by it”. Isak frowned. “So he always needs someone watching him and that’s tiring, yeah”, Andreas said.

 “That sounds like you think Even is dangerous”, Isak said before he could stop himself. Andreas turned around.

 “Well, not when he has a depressive episode”, Andreas said. Isak suddenly had a very nasty feeling. “I grew up with him, I certainly have seen what damage Even can cause”, he said harshly.

 “Is that – what happened 5 years ago?” Isak asked. He was curious but at the same time he didn’t want to know.

 “Did Emily tell you how she got her scars?” Andreas asked. Isak shook his head.

 “They were so close, the best friends. Even adored Emily”, Andreas said. Isak could hear the jealousy. “After I met Emily at university and she became my tutor I invited her over. She and Even immediately clicked. She found out very quickly about Even’s condition and I was surprised that she had figured it out. Even had just been diagnosed the year before and it was all new to us. But she knew very well how to handle it because her brother had been bipolar, too”, Andreas said.

 “Had been?” Isak asked. Emily had used past tense, too. There was an odd look on Andreas’ face.

 “He wasn’t cured of his illness. You know there is no cure in that sense. He’s dead”, Andreas said. Isak felt very cold.

 “She never got over his death, so Even really is the substitute for her brother”, Andreas continued. Isak wished Andreas would stop talking but he somehow could not make a sound to stop him.

 “She took care of Even. She was by his side during his manic episodes, making sure he did nothing stupid or dangerous. She was the only one who could halfway handle him then. He was refusing to take his medicaments. But everything was excused – everything he did had to be forgiven because he is ill”, Andreas said. He sounded exasperated and very bitter.

 “It’s not his fault”, Isak finally found his voice again. “He did not ask to be sick”. Andreas gave him a cold smile.

 “Yeah, of course not, but he did nothing to fix it”. Isak stared at him. “He didn’t want any help either, so there was nothing I could do for him”.

“You were just glad that she took the burden of taking care of your own brother was lifting from your shoulders”, Isak said. He didn’t know what gotten into him to say that to Even’s brother. Andreas looked shocked, too.

 “This situation is just about Even getting a different treatment than you. Jealousy that your fiancée is so close with your brother?” Isak asked in disbelief. Andreas glared at him and then his face fell.

 “No it’s about Even constantly putting Emily in danger and I don’t want to see Even getting both of them almost killed again”. Isak felt like Andreas had slapped him.

 “What do you mean?” Isak asked quietly.

 “Even was not taking his meds when he was freshly diagnosed. His manic episodes were pretty intense at times. One night, he left the house and Emily heard him leave, so she got up and followed him. She always did. Usually she would bring him home”, he said with a heavy voice.

 “But that night instead, she called me crying and screaming that Even had jumped off a bridge and she could not see him anymore”. Isak tensed up.

 “She jumped after him… when I got there, Even was on the shore of the river. But Emily was gone. This was not some nice little bridge over a little river”. Andreas’ hands were shaking. “She got washed against rocks and almost drowned. When they pulled her out, there was hardly a part of her body that wasn’t broken”, Andreas whispered. “All because of Even”.

Isak felt sick, he wanted to say that it wasn't Even's fault. 

 "He surely didn't ask her to jump with him", Isak said instead. But as soon as he had said it, he regretted it. Andreas had a very nasty look on his face.

 "That wasn't even all of it", Andreas said through gritted teeth.

Isak had preferred Emily not to come home at this moment because he could not bear to see her right now. But he was glad about the intrustion which gave him the opportunity to escape this horrible situation.

When he went into the living room, Even was awake. They both looked at each other and Even's face fell, he shook his head slightly.

 "He told you", Even said. Isak could not deny it but he did not know what to say.

 "What now? You're hoping that I will tell you I did not almost get Emily killed?" Even asked. It was getting harder to breathe and Isak stared at Even.

 "What do you want to hear? What is worse, Andreas constantly reminding me of it or Emily who pretends like it all didn't happen?", Even asked harshly.

 "Do you now understand why I said it's not going to work out? Why am I asking, you do, don't you?" he said. The pain and anger in his voice hurt Isak.

But Even just turned around and Isak took his backpack and left the living room.

 "Isak, are you - where are you going?" Emily asked when she found Isak in the hallway on his way to the door.

 "Home", Isak said through tears.

 "But -", Emily started. Isak was already through the door before she could continue.

 

**THURSDAY 09:10**

Isak glanced at his phone when he woke up. He had one missed call by Emily and several text messages from her.

He scrolled through them.

 

> _Emily Yesterday 18:42_
> 
> What happened?
> 
> If you guys had a fight, I'm sorry. I'm sure everything will calm down!
> 
> _Emily Yesterday 21:24_
> 
> Please call me back. You only heard half the story.

But he didn't feel like hearing any part of the story. He didn't want to know. He couldn't bear hearing the story from Andreas who made it sound so horrible and neither could he imagine hearing it from Emily. She had said that it hadn't been that bad when Even clearly was still suffering and felt guilty. The only one who had any right to tell him the story was Even. But Isak thought of how Even had reacted yesterday, how hurt he had been.

Isak couldn't tell Even that the past didn't matter because it mattered so much to Even. He didn't know what to do. He felt lost and helpless.

 

**THURSDAY 17:26**

Isak flinched when his phone vibrated. It was a message from Even.

 

> _Even 17:26_
> 
> Can we talk tomorrow?
> 
> _Isak 17:26_
> 
> Yes, sure. Do you want me to come to Emily's house?
> 
> _Even 17:27_
> 
> Andreas will be working until 6 PM, so any time before that. 2PM?
> 
> _Isak 17:27_
> 
> Ok. Then I'll be there.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay!! This chapter took a little longer to write because it is, well a very long chapter. A lot is going on this week, but I didn't want to make this too long. This is why this chapter ends on Thursday.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this long chapter! Andreas finally makes a proper appearance, so I'm curious to hear what you think of him!


	6. Six

**FRIDAY 08:12**

Even rolled over in bed when he heard the door opening.

 “You’re awake?” Emily asked quietly. Even hummed tiredly.

 “Do you want some alone time with Isak before I join you? Or do you think you'll be fine on your own?” Emily asked. Even looked at her and then at the ceiling.

 “If you want me to be there, it’s alright. I’ll be there. Just let me know, I can also wait outside while you talk and as soon as you feel like you need me there, I’ll join in, okay?” Emily said. Even nodded. She smiled and stroked his hair.

 “Alright, I gotta go. If you need anything, text me”, she said. Even sighed.

 “You’re working and I’m not –“, he started.

 “It’s just a meeting and if you need something then you will say it like a proper adult. I am not babying you”, Emily interrupted him. She raised her eyebrows and Even almost smiled.

 “See you later”.

Even nodded.

 

**FRIDAY 14:05**

Even was nervously biting on his lip as he glanced outside the window. There was a little meow and Emily’s black cat had jumped onto his legs, settling in his lap. Even patted her and she began purring happily. He wasn't much of a cat person but it was calming to have her sit in his lap. Her ears twitched and a second later the doorbell rang. Even gently picked up the cat and went to the door.

To Isak’s surprise it was Even who opened the door and not Emily. Even was holding Emily and Andreas’ cat in his arms and looked very exhausted.

 “Hi”, Isak said nervously.

 “Come in”, Even murmured and stepped to the side to let Isak in. “Let’s go into the kitchen”, Even said and went ahead.

Isak saw how nervous Even was and the cat seemed to feel it to because she wriggled out of Even’s arms and jumped down. Silently she dashed out of the door into the hallway.

They sat down and were silent for a long time. Isak wondered whether Even had purposefully chosen to sit on the hard kitchen stairs opposed to the sofa in the living room.

 “I don’t know what Andreas told you exactly but – from what Emily said, he only told you half the story”, Even finally started. “So… there is no reason to not tell you everything now”.

Even shortly looked at Isak. “I just have one condition”, he said. Isak nodded.

 “Okay, what is it?” he asked.

 “You’ve got to listen until the end and if you want to leave then, it’s fine. You have to be honest”, Even said. Isak stared at him and shook his head.

 “I won’t leave. I’m sorry I left yesterday, but I won’t –“, Isak began.

 “You haven’t heard the story yet”, Even said.

Isak nodded. “Okay, then”.

Even looked down.

 “I had been diagnosed just the year before. And everyone was just stressing me out, my parents made all sorts of rules of what I was allowed to do and what not. The only one who did not treat me differently was my brother. He was just my brother, we fought like always, talked like always… But I wasn’t taking my medicine – I know I should have but when you – when you feel really good then you think you’re fine and you don’t need those pills. My brother brought home Emily one day. She was his English tutor. We became friends – she was the only one who could at least somehow understand me”, Even said. He paused shortly.

 “She took care of me without controlling me. She just let me be – no one had done that before. But she did that because she knew what it felt like to be pitied and controlled. one time I had an episode and she went with me”, Even started. Isak nodded.

 “Your brother told me that part. About the bridge”, Isak said.

Even shifted and Isak saw how uncomfortable Even felt.

 “It’s not your fault, Even. You didn’t tell her to jump with you, you didn’t ask her –“, Isak started and Even turned his head around very abruptly. Isak flinched at the look in Even’s eyes.

 “What if I did?” Even asked very quietly.

Isak didn’t know what to say. There were tears in Even’s eyes and the silence stretched until Even’s tears overflowed and ran down his cheeks and he took a shaky breath. The self-loathing and shame in Even’s eyes was hard to bear but there was nothing Isak could say or do. He just sat there and stared at Even.

 “I was admitted to hospital. I heard that Emily had gotten hurt badly although I could not recall how that should have happened - because I was fine. We were in the same hospital so I wanted to go and see her but everyone tried to stop me. My brother turned up and – told me that Emily was in a bad state and I wasn’t allowed to see her anymore”, Even said.

 “We got into a fight over that. He didn’t understand that I needed to see her and talk to her”, he added. “While I was in hospital I was still – I had to make sure that she was okay. But apparently I made everything worse”.

Even couldn’t go on. Isak remembered that Andreas had some really cruel things to Even during that fight.

 “We won’t make up”, Even said and wiped his tears away and cleared his throat.

 “What did he say?” Isak whispered. Even’s face twitched. Isak had never seen that cold and distant look in Even’s eyes before.

 “He said he wished it had been me who had almost drowned and not Emily because he had enough of my freak bullshit”.

Isak’s breath got stuck in his throat and it was absolutely silent in the kitchen.

 “I was in hospital for a couple of weeks, when I got out Andreas was not at home. He had moved out in the meantime. I wasn’t allowed to see Emily. A month later or so my parents told me that Emily had gotten out of hospital. She and Andreas were living together in another city. Until recently I hadn’t seen them again”.

Even fell silent again and then sighed. “Well, that’s it. That’s the story”.

Isak looked at Even. He looked exhausted and like a plant withering on that kitchen chair.

 “I’m not leaving”, Isak said. Even looked up. “You – you didn’t do any of this on purpose. You’re taking your meds and you’ve got me and Emily watching you. This is not going to happen again”, Isak said. Even scoffed and looked away.

 “I have thrown away the medicine too often now instead of taking it –“, Even said.

 “You said you believe that you’re the director of your own life, you have the power to change the direction in which your life is going, didn’t you?” Isak said.

Even looked startled. “You said that”, Isak repeated. Even frowned slightly. “I did”.

Isak leaned closer to Even.

 “Then direct your own life! I am here now, I’m not going away. If you don’t want this to happen again, you take your meds and I will do my best to support you in whatever way you need it. But for that you have to tell me what’s going on, don’t keep everything to yourself. Sometimes we’ll have to talk about more than the next minute and it’ll be fine”, Isak said. Even struggled against more tears and finally let Isak pull him into a hug.

 “Have you forgotten?” Isak asked muffled into Even’s shoulder.

 “I told you, you are not alone”.

He felt Even shake in his arms and he held him tighter.

 

**SATURDAY 10:17**

Isak carefully slipped out of bed, so he wouldn’t wake up Even. Emily had let him stay over once again. Andreas had avoided Isak and Even when he had come home on Friday.

But now when Isak came into the kitchen, Andreas was sitting at the table drinking his coffee.

 “Good morning”, he said slowly.

Isak just looked at him. He was angry at him for driving him and Even apart, he was angry for the cruel things he had said to Even.

 “Listen, Isak. I wanted to apologise”, Andreas started as Isak walked past him without a word. Isak stopped in his tracks as he was about to open the fridge.

He looked back at Andreas. “I didn’t want to cause a fight between you and Even. I didn’t want to hurt you”, Andreas said. “I shouldn’t have told you”.

Isak exhaled and leaned against the fridge. “Well, yeah”.

Andreas cleared his throat. “So, I’m sorry”. Isak looked at him and Andreas looked back. Andreas cleared his throat again. “Okay, then…”. He turned around and left the kitchen.

Isak heard him speak to Emily in the hallway and seconds later Emily came into the kitchen.

 “Good morning”, she said carefully. Isak eyed her.

 “I want to ask you something”, he said. She nodded. “Sure”.

 “You told me Even didn’t want to be in contact with you anymore”, Isak started off unceremoniously. “But he told me that he desperately wanted to see you again”. Emily exhaled slowly and then she smiled sadly.

 “It was a misunderstanding”, she said. “We cleared it up when we met again”. Isak frowned.

 “I had written him a letter where I told him that I didn’t blame him and where I explained that I would move away with Andreas for a bit. I asked him to send me a message when he felt better. But he never did, so I assumed that he didn’t want any contact anymore. I – I have to confess I was a bit disappointed and hurt that he didn’t even once ask how I was doing after everything. So I didn’t try again to contact him”, she said. “Don’t hate Andreas… he withheld the letter from Even. Even never got the letter, so he never knew…”.

Isak stared at Emily. “How can you – so easily forgive Andreas after everything he has done and said? Wasn’t Even like a brother to you? And now Andreas is making everything so hard again! He is actively trying to hurt Even and ruin our relationship!” Isak called.

Isak hated that Emily still had that stupid sad smile on her face, he hated how she always acted like all of this wasn’t a big deal.

 “He is not trying to ruin your relationship”, she said.

 “Oh really?” Isak hissed.

Emily shook her head. “You know yourself that this wasn’t his goal… I won’t deny he said a lot of cruel things. But you know, Isak, people say the worst things not when they are angry but when they are hurt and scared”, she said. “Hurt?” Isak repeated, his voice cracking.

 “Andreas thought he had lost both of us. He thought we both had died. Do you know what that feels like? When you believe you lost someone you love?” Emily asked. Isak couldn’t answer.

 “I underwent several surgeries but Even was already running through the hospital claiming he could help me. In one night he thought he had lost brother and girlfriend that was hard for Andreas to process. You’ve seen Even during an episode, haven’t you? He isn’t very sympathetic and he could not really handle Andreas’ pain. To Andreas it looked like Even didn’t care and disregarded what he and I were going through”.

Isak looked down.

 “Do not judge so lightly, Isak”, Emily said. “He too is fighting his own battles”. Isak felt like crying.

 “They didn’t allow themselves to heal but now they’re slowly starting… forgiveness isn’t easy. Andreas will forgive Even, that’s not the problem. Forgiving yourself is the hardest, this is a wound that won’t heal overnight. He cannot reconnect with Even as long as he tortures himself with everything he did wrong – yes, he knows very well what he did and said was more than hurtful”, Emily said. She smiled kindly.

“But as long as we don’t give up, there is always hope, right?”

 

**SUNDAY 14:27**

Isak was stuffing their clothes into his backpack when Even came into the living room. “Ready to go home?” Isak asked and got up. Even nodded and Isak smiled. He reached out and Even stepped closer to kiss Isak.

Andreas was waiting in the hallway for them. He cleared his throat.

“Want me to drive you home?” he asked. Even said nothing so Isak nodded. “Yeah, uh, thank you”.

They said bye to Emily and got into Andreas’ car. It was raining again and it looked gloomy and dark outside although it was afternoon. The traffic lights were a blurry mix of colours on the car windows. No one spoke during the drive home, the radio was on to fill the silence.

When they finally arrived home, Andreas reached into his jacket. “Here”, he said to them and reached them an envelope. It was the wedding invitation.

 “Well then”, he said.

 “Thanks”, Isak said and thought of Emily’s words. “I’m looking forward to it”. Andreas smiled.

 “See you then”.

 

Their flat was cold and it was strange to be back in it after such a long time. Even looked around as if he was seeing it for the first time.

Isak was secretly glad that Emily had insisted that they take some of the lunch Andreas had made with them because they had no food at home.

 “Do you want to eat something?” Isak asked. Even shook his head.

Isak’s eyes fell on their game console. “Let’s do something fun then”, he suggested.

 “Something fun?” Even repeated. But he sounded a lot more cheerful than he had in the past weeks.

Isak pointed at the game console. “Fifa?” Even smiled. “Alright”.

 

**WEDNESDAY 15:20**

Isak turned slightly in front of the mirror in their bedroom and spotted Even walking up to him.

 “You look hot”, Even said with a grin, wrapping his arms around Isak. They were trying on their suits for the wedding on Saturday. Isak laughed.

 “So do you. I’ve never seen you wear a suit before”, Isak said then.

 “Well, if you become a famous film director you’ll be wearing suits to the red carpet all the time”, Isak added. Even made him turn around. He was laughing and then kissed Isak.

 “Ah, I don’t think I’ll become a famous film director”, he said. “No?” Isak asked surprised.

Even hummed. “Nah, it’s more of a hobby. I thought of actually taking up something else at university”, he said.

 “Like what?” Isak asked curiously.

 “Teaching”, Even said immediately.

 “Teaching?” Isak repeated surprised.

 “Yeah”, Even confirmed nodding. Isak smiled. “What was your plan?” Even asked. Isak hesitated.

 “Biophysics”, he said then.

 “Ah, that’s my genius”, Even said with a smile and kissed Isak. Isak took a deep breath.

 “Have you already had a look at universities?” he asked. Even nodded. “Yeah, but they offer teaching almost everywhere. Why? You’ve got a special university in mind?”

Isak looked up to Even nervously. “NTNU?”

Even hummed. “I haven’t looked into that university yet but it’s going to be fine”, Even said.

Isak was surprised. “But, we would have to move away”, he said. Even smiled at him. “So what? We’re going to find a nice new place but I guess we’ve got to safe up for the university fees”.

Isak smiled. “Yeah, maybe I should start working in Andreas’ company, huh?” he said without thinking. But Even laughed.

“Yeah, probably”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even's past is finally fully told and Isak got the chance to talk about his future plans. But what do you guys think, will Even and his brother make up?


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning ahead: there is a lot of "language" in this chapter

**SATURDAY 10:12**

Isak shifted uncomfortably. It was a surprisingly hot day, even as early as now, the sun was shining brightly and it was getting sticky in the ceremony hall. He had never been to a wedding before so he wasn’t sure of what to expect. But he certainly had not expected it to be this big. There were certainly over 100 wedding guests and from what he had heard half of them had come from abroad.

The ceremony was said to only take an hour and a half but to Isak that sounded awfully long, especially in this cramped hall where the sun was shining right onto his back. He wished he could take off his jacket but he didn’t want to move around too much. Even gently nudged him. Isak turned to him and Even folded up the card with the time plan to use it as a fan. Isak inched closer to the little breeze. But when a tall woman with a strict looking face gave them a dark look, Even stopped. Isak had to suppress a laughter and covered it as a cough. Even grinned. At the front Even’s mother was crying very loudly. The woman next to her looked rather reserved but her similarity to Emily meant that she had to be Emily’s mother. Andreas looked very nervous. Even was just whispering to Isak that Andreas had gotten so nervous the night before that he had spent 4 hours looking for his wedding shoes, while they had been in the car all along when the doors opened. Isak’s muffled laughter was drowned out by the whispering and gasps. Since it was not a church wedding, it was a little less festive when the door opened and Emily came in, but it was nonetheless a wonderful moment. Even’s mother cried even louder and the face of Emily’s mother softened.

Emily’s father was beaming down at his daughter, he was so tall she barely reached his shoulders. Isak shortly looked at Even.

“You helped picking that one out?” he asked.

Even nodded, his eyes were glowing. Emily really looked pretty, she looked different with all that makeup and styled hair. But most of all, she looked so happy that Isak could almost feel how she radiated happiness. Even who had put a lot of effort into looking like he had slept well, finally smiled without having to force it.

The ceremony passed by quicker than Isak had anticipated and then finally the guests all poured back out into the open. They would all drive to a different venue for the party and Isak and Even drove with Even’s parents.   

They arrived at the second venue which was surrounded by a large garden. The venue looked like terribly expensive and as Isak looked around, he wondered who had paid for all of that.

“Is Andreas really that rich to afford all of this?” he muttered. Even looked at him.

“Not sure… my parents only contributed a bit for the food, I think”, Even said and also looked around.

That was the world his brother was living in. Those people with their fancy suits and expensive watches who glanced around as if they judged every last thing in the venue of whether it was good enough for them.

“I’m getting something to drink”, Even said abruptly.

“Huh?” Isak said but Even had already disappeared between three young women in long lilac dresses.

“There, they are!” one of them called excited. And she was right, the door opened and Emily and Andreas were announced. Everyone clapped and cheered again. Andreas and Emily were beaming at the crowd and for the first time Isak found it very hard to resent Andreas for what he had done to Even. It was difficult to believe that this man who was looking at his wife with so much love and happiness could have been so cruel to his own brother. No matter the reasons he had had.

“Ugh, she could have at least gotten a dress that covered up her shoulders, couldn’t she?”

Isak flinched. One of the women in the lilac dress said with a very nasty look on her face.

“Don’t say that, Linda!” another one said shocked.

“Oh come on, you can see those terrible scars in that dress. It’s her wedding! I heard they are having a photo shooting later, wouldn’t she want to look at least pretty on her wedding day?” Linda said.

“Well, it’s damn nice of Andreas to stay with her. I wouldn’t have had the patience to stick around with that psycho bitch”, the third woman said. The second one looked very uncomfortable.

“Come on, now. It’s not her fault, it was an accident, right? It’s only normal to be traumatised by that, right?” she said nervously. Linda gave a short laugh.

“He’s too good looking for her. She would have looked quite passable if she had chosen a dress that would covered up her scars – also good God, what’s with that locket?! That doesn’t fit the look at all, it looks horrendous”, Linda said merciless.

“Well, on the other hand, she won’t have to worry about being called a trophy wife like you are, Linda”, the third woman said maliciously. Linda gasped and glared at her.

“How dare you -?” Isak was about to turn around and tell them to shut up when Even returned with two glasses.

“Here”, he said and gave Isak a quick peck. “It’s so packed here, at the other end of the hall it’s a bit calmer. They’ll start serving lunch in half an hour, so we’ve still got a bit of time”, Even said.

“Even”, Isak said. He could not resist. “Do you know those three women? Those in the purple dresses”, he said.

Even turned around and glanced back at the three women. They also shortly turned to look at them.

“No. Never seen them before, why?” Even said. Isak turned away. “Uh, never mind”.

He didn’t feel like repeated those ugly things they had said about Emily. He just hoped Emily didn’t think of them as genuine friends. At the other end of the hall a large banner was elegantly pinned up behind the tables where the freshly wedded pair would sit later during lunch and dinner. Isak stared at the banner.

Émilie & Andreas Næsheim

“I thought her name was Emily – like an English name”, he said blankly. Even followed his eyes. “Yeah, the pronunciation is almost the same, that’s why it kind of stuck, I guess. She uses the English writing, too”, Even said and shrugged. “So everyone just calls her Emily now”.

 

**SATURDAY 13:05**

Isak and Even were sitting close to Emily and Andreas as they were part of the family. The food was served to them instead of a buffet style as Isak had had hoped for. But the food was very good, even though he wasn’t sure what exactly he was eating. Emily’s mother looked as reserved as she had been at the reception. But her father was holding a conversation with Even’s father, neither of them very good at English but they seemed to amuse themselves. Andreas’ best man was sitting beside him, talking avidly with both Emily and Andreas. He had a beard that made him look like he was trying to imitate Iron Man. But opposed to the three women Isak had overheard earlier everyone around them during lunch seemed to be very nice. Andreas’ best man gave a funny speech and he laughed loudly during the other speeches. Isak recognised the shy and nervous woman in the lilac dress who had been with those two malicious women earlier, as she played a piece on her violin. She was playing very well and Emily actually cried during her performance.

Emily and Andreas surprised everyone with a funny choreographed wedding dance. Then finally everyone was invited to join them on the dance floor.

As soon as the dance floor was open to dance Even stormed off, dragging Isak along.

“You can’t possible not dance at a wedding!” Even called over the loud music. Isak joined Even very reluctantly. But when Even put his arms around Isak and pulled him close, it was as if the crowd had suddenly disappeared. How long had it been that they had spent their time together like this. Lately it had been more effort to hold themselves together than enjoying their relationship. It had been exhausting and draining. Only now Isak realised how much.

“I missed you”, the words had stumbled out of his mouth before he had properly thought about it. Even pulled him closer and kissed him. They were rocking from one side to the other more than they were dancing but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. It was no longer a kiss and a hug to hold each other up so they wouldn’t fall, it was a kiss and an embrace so intense it felt like they could fly.

“When we’re getting married, we’re not doing this whole expensive shit”, Even muttered into his ear.

“I thought you wanted a big wedding”, Isak said back and laughed. Even smiled and kissed him. “Maybe we should just – you know – elope”. Isak smiled into the kiss.

 

**SATURDAY 17:21**

The loud music from the big hall was muffled in the bathroom. Even splashed cold water into his face and dried off his face with paper towels. So far everything had gone pretty well. They had had fun. He had shortly talked with Andreas, even though it had been more a conversation with Emily to congratulate them. They had hugged and very briefly Andreas had hugged Even, too. It had been a one arm hug and he had let go almost immediately. But it had been long enough to remember so many things. It was strange. He had spent the last 5 years resenting his brother for pushing him away like that, for stealing one of his closest friends and for simply abandoning him. How odd it was to have him back in his life, as a brother, older, in a suit, and married. It was strange to see Andreas shaking hands with important people, saying he was honoured that someone had made it to his wedding, and then in turn to hear how other people looked up to Andreas as a successful business man. It was so strange because for the briefest second when Andreas had hugged him, Even had been glad that Andreas had returned. Had he not come back, he wouldn’t have met Emily again, he would have never told Isak about his past and would have carried the burden of this secret for even longer.

Instead of returning to the hall, Even went along the long hallway and slipped out into the garden. The sun was still shining and the sky was almost cloudless. He heard a group of people chatting somewhere in the garden. Even walked aimlessly through the garden but he stopped in his tracks when he heard his name.

“…Even, his brother”.

He turned around and saw no one. There was some shuffling and Even saw smoke rise behind some large bushes. “Thanks for the lighter”.

Someone hummed in response. “Anyway, they really went all out to impress the big guests, huh?” a man said.

“Well, he got some famous people here…”, another one responded.

The other one scoffed. “All the more reason to teach his family some proper etiquette first”, he said. Another man laughed.

“Not surprised he kept his brother a secret. I wouldn’t want to be caught dead with a faggot brother”, he said. “How many deals did Andreas lose just by the sponsors seeing his brother snog that boy?” another one asked.

“Ugh, probably none. He sure won’t tell them that it was his brother”.

Even froze. He suppressed the urge to step out and confront them. It was stupid, besides he didn’t want to cause a scene on Emily’s wedding. So he turned around and went back inside. But the evening was kind of spoilt.

 

**SATURDAY 23:56**

The later it got, the drunker everyone got. Isak and Even danced wildly, by now Isak had dropped all his reluctance to dance.

Someone tapped Even’s shoulder hard. It was Emily, her cheeks were reddened.

“Have you seen Andreas?” she called over the loud music. She was red from excitement not from being drunk. Even who had been closely monitored by his parents was still rather sober heard her anxiety.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You looked very pretty, Emily!” Isak shouted in between.

“Thank you, Isak”, Emily said and smiled. “I haven’t seen him in an hour! He wanted to go to the bathroom but he hasn’t come back and I had someone check the bathroom, he isn’t in there”, Emily said. Even frowned.

“Maybe he’s out in the garden?” Emily nervously glanced over to the glass window front.

“Come on, let’s look for him”, Even said and grabbed Isak’s arm and the three left the hall. A cool breeze hit their faces after the sticky air of the hall when they stepped outside. Lampions were illuminating the park sparsely.

“Andreas?” Emily called loudly. They looked around.

“There is a smoking area over there”, Even suggested.

“He doesn’t smoke”, Emily said anxiously. “He stopped long ago”. Isak squinted. The fresh air was sobering him up a bit.

“Isn’t that him?” he asked. Someone was walking quickly through the garden.

“Andreas!” Emily called. The man flinched and then approached them. It was Andreas.

“Where have you been?” Emily asked anxiously.

“I’m sorry, I made you worry”, Andreas said and quickly wrapped his arms around Emily.

“I had to escort a friend to the taxi. He was completely shitfaced and it took a bit of persuasion to get him go home”, he explained.

“Oh”, Emily said and sounded relieved. He kissed her but Even saw in the dim light of the lampion that Andreas’s knuckles were red and bruised.

“Let’s go back inside”, Andreas said.

“Oh, right before I forget it. You guys will come to our after-wedding barbeque, will you?” Andreas asked toward Even and Isak. Both of them blinked in surprise, even Emily seemed perplex that Andreas would suddenly invite the two.

“I – uh”, Even said.

“It’s on Thursday”, Emily added. “At our place”.

Isak looked at Even. He couldn’t tell what Even was thinking but Even was nodding. “Yeah, sure”.

 

**SUNDAY 13:24**

Isak blinked. His head was hurting and the bright sunlight was hurting his eyes. “Good morning”. He looked up and saw Even fully dressed. Isak groaned.

“I am almost glad my parents kept me from drinking”, Even said. Isak grunted into the pillow.“I’ll bring you some coffee”. Even returned with a cup of coffee and slipped into bed.

“Can we stay in bed today? Do nothing?” Isak murmured. Even smiled and kissed Isak’s forehead. “I guess we can”.

Isak fell asleep again, snuggled up on Even’s chest. He still smelled of hair gel and alcohol. As Even held Isak in his arms, listening to his calm breathing he had to think of his brother. He had definitely disappeared from his own wedding to beat someone up. He himself had not gotten a hit to the face, so he probably really had to hit a very drunk friend. He wasn’t sure why he was so bothered by it. Maybe because Andreas had treated him so strangely different after they had found him in the garden? Andreas had been very nice. He had invited Even and Isak to the barbeque, he had offered Even to take some food home for Sunday. Most of all, he had properly hugged him goodbye. It had not been a long hug, but he had pulled him in tightly with both of his arms.

Even would have been pissed off if Andreas had done all this just to play nice in front of Emily, but Emily had not been there when Andreas had hugged him goodbye.

Even played with Isak’s hair while his thoughts were circling in confusion as to his brother’s odd change of heart. Just a few days ago Even had been convinced that they would never make up and as he thought about it, he realised that there was still too much bitterness when he thought of Andreas, too much pain to simply accept that his brother was trying to be nice to him. There had to be a reason for it. Andreas wouldn’t have simply had a change of heart and acted on it out of the blue. Even couldn’t trust this.

Through the open window came in a gentle breeze. Even shifted and leaned his head against Isak’s as the breeze gently brushed over his face and he drifted off into sleep.

A warm breeze was brushing over his body, he was small. He was trying to run and catch up with someone. His brother right ahead. But it was hard to run in the sand. The sand was heavy and warm. A wave of salty water splashed against his feet. “Even!” someone called. Two women appeared, his mother and her sister. “Be careful!” But he had to catch up, his brother was already splashing into the water. Water spraying around. Wild laughter. Even stumbled and fell. Face first he fell into the water that stung in his eyes and filled his throat. It hurt and he couldn’t breathe. Someone pulled him out and held him up. “What are you doing, stupid?” But he didn’t let go and clapped his back until the stinging sensation was gone.

Even’s eyes flew open. It was cool in the bedroom now and the sky outside was cloudy. Isak was still fast asleep beside him. The coffee on the bedside table was cold.

  

**THURSDAY 16:02**

Isak was carrying a large bowl of potato salad in his arms and Even was shouldering a big bag as he rang the doorbell. They waited for a minute but no one opened up.

“Maybe, they can’t hear us”, Isak murmured.

“Let’s just walk around the house into the garden”, Even said. Isak cleared his throat.

“Uh, okay”, he murmured uncomfortably as they went through the front garden around the house. There was music and chattering and a delicious smell of sizzling meat and sausages wafted through the air. Isak had never been in their garden at the back of the house. It was a large grassy area surrounded by trees and bushes and flower beds. In the middle there had been set up several chairs and a large table. A large barbeque grill was set up as well where Andreas and a guy whom Isak recognised as Andreas’ best man were grilling.

“Oh, Isak and Even!”

Emily was just coming out of the house. She was carrying plates and she was followed by a young woman who looked vaguely familiar to Isak, she was carrying forks and knives.

“So nice that you could come”, Emily said happily and quickly put the plates down to hurry over and hug them. She was dressed up again, a floral dress dancing around her legs. A golden locket was resting on her chest and Isak remembered that she had been wearing it at her wedding, too. That mean woman had commented how it didn’t fit with her dress. “I think that means we’re complete”, Emily said.

Everyone introduced themselves, Andreas’ best man named Mathias, his wife who Isak finally recognised as the shy woman who had played violin and had stood with the two mean women in their purple dresses. Two employees of Andreas’ company and two of Andreas’ friends, Oliver and Jakob. Even seemed very stiff when they introduced themselves. Even hadn’t told Isak about the conversation he had overheard in the garden between some of Andreas’ friends calling Even names. But these two men had definitely been among those who had talked bad about Even. There was another man but he had to leave so early that neither Isak nor Even really got to talk to him and Isak immediately forgot his name and how he was connected to Emily and Andreas.

Isak accompanied Emily back into the house a little while later to help her get new drinks.

“Is that locket a wedding gift? I saw you wearing it on Saturday as well”, Isak said. He couldn’t help being curious. Emily looked surprised.

“Oh, that. Yes, I got it from my parents”, she said and put a hand over it almost as if to cover it up.

“It’s one of those where you can put stuff inside, right?”, Isak said and thought of the woman who had called it ugly. “These are really cool”.

Emily looked at Isak and then smiled. “Thank you. It’s… it has a picture of my brother inside”, she said then.

Isak shivered. He wished he hadn’t asked her about it. “Oh, I’m sorry”, he started feebly.

“So… he could be there as well, on my wedding, you know”, she murmured. Isak was angry at himself for being too curious but he was even angrier at those two women who had gossiped over Emily.

Back outside they returned to an ongoing conversation.

“…all married now, eh?” Jakob said. “Yeah, well except for Tobias”, Andreas said.

“Insane that dude. He really was so drunk, he fell down the stairs at your wedding!” Oliver laughed. Emily frowned a little.

“He looked pretty roughed up. Maybe he should go to a hospital, he can’t come into a meeting looking like that”, Jakob sneered.

“Looking like what?” Emily asked suddenly. Even noticed how Andreas suddenly got very tense.

“The sausages are ready. Who wants one?” he asked loudly. Why was Andreas lying? The guy surely had not fallen down the stairs, Even was absolutely sure that Andreas had punched the other guy.

“So you two are then… a couple?” Oliver asked Even and Isak. There was a very uncomfortable undertone in his words. Isak shifted nervously. He felt Even’s hand on his thigh.

“Yeah, we are”, Even said. “Since a year”.

Oliver nodded. “And what are you doing? School?”

Even shook his head. “I’m working, saving up for university. Isak just graduated”. Oliver laughed. “Well, congrats and cheers to that, Isak”, he called and raised his bottle.

“Graduation that was a time”, Oliver boomed. Jakob grinned.

“You remember that? I thought you were completely high and drunk throughout those days”, he said. Oliver waved with his hand. “Yeah, that’s how I know it was a good time”.

Oliver leaned back. “What are you going for at university then?” he asked.

Isak didn’t feel like this was a casual conversation but more of an interview. And everytime Oliver laughed, it felt like he was laughing at them. It didn’t take long for Isak to decide that he did not like Oliver. There was always something in the way he put things. How he talked carelessly about his wife, Linda – but Isak thought that woman and he went well together. They surely deserved one another. How he smiled at anything Isak said, it was a belittling smile. And how he seemed to feel like he had to comment everytime Even and Isak touched or kissed or looked at each other. Andreas looked very tense, he didn’t laugh at Oliver’s remarks but he never told him to stop it either. Isak saw that it was bother Even, too. Usually Even remained very calm when it came to stuff like that, but right now he looked like he was close to punching Oliver in the face, so Isak suggested that they went inside for more drinks.

“Uh, they certainly want some alone time”, Oliver said and Jakob laughed.

In the living room, Even clenched his hands into fists. “I knew it, Andreas only invited us for that. He is enjoying himself, this must be pure entertainment for him”, Even said through gritted teeth.

“I don’t think so”, Isak said carefully. “He looked pretty pissed, too…”. Even scoffed.

“Oh please, he is friends with those kind of people. They were already talking about us at the wedding, for this Oliver guy it’s all just an act. At the wedding he called me a faggot”, Even said. Isak’s face fell.

“He called you – that directly into your face?” he asked quietly.

“No, I overheard him and some other guys talking about us. How it was bad etiquette that we were dancing together and kissed”, Even said still tense.

“Maybe we should just go home”, Isak murmured.

“No, then it will just look like we’re giving in to his stupid bullying. We’re not going to let him do that. He spoilt one evening, he won’t do it again”, Even said firmly.

They sat down in the living room to cool down for a bit and just enjoy each other’s closeness without having someone comment on it. Someone went to the bathroom and walked then back past the living room.

“Oliver, it’s time for dessert. Could you help me take it out of the fridge and prepare it?” Emily said.

“Uh – why me?” Oliver said. Even and Isak looked at each other.

“Oh, your wife made that dessert but she couldn’t come – such a pity. You should then of course, in her place, present the dessert, don’t you think?” Emily said. She sounded friendly but very demanding and it seemed like Oliver gave in.

“Let’s go”, Even said and they left the living room. Just as they walked past the kitchen, Isak stopped at the odd scene in the kitchen. Emily had a very firm grip on Oliver’s wrist. He looked startled, midway of opening a long white box.

“Even is part of my family now”, she said. She was smiling but she did not sound nice at all. “So is Isak”. Oliver frowned. “So what?”

Emily stepped closer.

“I wonder what would happen if I demanded you pay back the money you owe right now”, she said and her tone sounded very dangerous. Not at all like Emily.

Oliver stared at her. “Are you crazy, woman? What is up with you?”

Emily tightened her grip. “Oh, you heard me. You won’t talk bad about Even or Isak again, ever”, she said.

“Who do you think you are, making demands like that, crazy bitch”, Oliver hissed and shook her hand off.

“If I were you, I’d be damn careful how I talk to the person I owe this much money to. Who do you think gave you the money to start your own business, Oliver? You think that was Andreas’ money? Do you think he’ll have your back when I decide it’s payday?” Emily asked.

Oliver took a step back. “Alright, for fucks sake”, he hissed. Isak and Even exchanged gazes and Even quickly pulled Isak through the hallway into the garden.

“What was that?” Isak whispered. Even pulled Isak further away from the chatting group sitting at the table. Even shook his head but then shortly closed his eyes.

“Man, that was so badass, though. Like a movie scene”, he said and sighed.

Isak laughed. “It was kind of creepy to see her like that. Usually she’s all sweet and kind”, Isak said.

 

**FRIDAY 21:12**

“Sorry that you had to come all the way here again”, Emily said. Isak shook his head.

“No, it’s alright. We were after all the ones who forgot our bowls and dishes here yesterday”, Isak said. Emily smiled.

“How are you guys doing? Enjoying your free-time?” Emily asked. Isak shrugged.

“Well, finally time to sleep in”, Isak said. His eyes fell on a large suitcase in the hallway.

“When are you leaving for your honeymoon?” he asked. “On Sunday in the morning. Andreas hasn’t finished packing yet”, Emily said.

“I’ve still got on entire day to pack”, Andreas’ voice sounded from upstairs. Emily rolled her eyes.

“Where are you going to?” Isak asked.

“Hawaii”, Emily said just when Even returned from the bathroom. “Okay, let’s go”, he said.

“Hawaii?” Isak asked. “That’s pretty luxurious, isn’t it?” Emily laughed. “Well, it’s a honeymoon, isn’t it?”

Even and Isak shortly exchanged gazes. Emily didn’t know that the two had overheard her conversation with Oliver.

“Even?”

Even froze and looked up. Andreas was standing at the top of the stairs. “Could you come for a second?”

Even went upstairs and Emily was trying to convince Isak to take home some of the food Andreas had made earlier.

Even followed his brother into the bedroom and shrugged. “What is it?” he asked rougher than he had intended to. Andreas leaned against the closet.

“Isak told me you’re intending to go to NTNU?” Andreas said. Even frowned.

“He wants to, yeah. I’ll go with him. I’m planning on becoming a teacher”, Even said then.

Andreas nodded. “So you’d have to move to Trondheim”, he said slowly.

“What about it?” Even asked.

“I know someone in Trondheim”, Andreas started but Even shook his head vehemently.

“Oh no. No, no, no. You’re not going to arrange us a place”, Even said sharply. Andreas glared at him.

“Let me finish first before you say no, idiot”, Andreas shot back. They both glared at each other.

“I was going to say, I know someone who could help you get a cheap but good place without ripping you off”, Andreas said. Even considered the offer for a moment.

“If Emily had made the offer you would have said yes immediately”, Andreas said then. Even huffed.

“Emily would have offered to buy us a place, wouldn’t she?” Even grunted. There was a smile on Andreas’ lips.

“Yeah, she would have. But she knows you, she knows you would never agree to that”, Andreas said softly.

“Where is all that money coming from?” Even asked.

“Her family owns several vineyards and a famous wine brand. She inherited a lot already from an uncle who passed away a couple of years ago”, Andreas answered. “We bought this house with it”.

Andreas shrugged. “We’re both working and making our own money now. She does not rely on her parents’ money. They had a really bad fight when they wanted to pay for the wedding”, Andreas told him. Even was confused.

“Why wouldn’t she let them?” he asked. Andreas frowned.

“They were against our marriage at first”, he said. “They had waited for her to return home and take over the family business”.

Even lowered his head. Emily must have had a lot of stress and worries which she had not shared with him. In fact, they always spoke about his worries and troubles.

“Thank you, Even”, Andreas said into the silence. Even looked up surprised. Andreas had something like a smile on his face.

“She was – stressed out. But you helped her a lot with the wedding and took a bit of the burden off her shoulders”, Andreas said. “I know I wasn’t – nice. I made it harder for you to help and made it harder for her. I hadn’t realised… I’m sorry about that”.

Even frowned. “Are you only saying that because you feel bad for Emily?” he asked. Andreas sighed.

“You make it really difficult… come on, Even”, he said.

Even took a deep breath. “Well, then give me the contact for your friend in Trondheim”, he said. Andreas almost smiled.

 

**FRIDAY 22:22**

Isak was very quiet on their way home and even when they had settled on the sofa at home, he wouldn’t say a word.

“Are you okay?” Even asked when Isak stared at the screen of the TV without taking anything in. Isak finally looked at him.

“I had already noticed yesterday during the barbeque… but Andreas had beat someone up. His fist was all bruised”, Isak said.

Even frowned. “Yeah, I noticed, too. He said it, though, didn’t he? This drunk friend of his. Probably this Tobias who they all said fell down the stairs”, he muttered.

“I asked Emily about it”, Isak said and Even turned surprised to Isak.

“She had noticed, too”, Isak said and hesitated.

“So?” Even asked and raised his eyebrows.

“Andreas had apparently overheard how this guy had called you – you know, bad names and straight up punched him in the face. And after we left yesterday, he had a fallout with Oliver, too”, Isak said. Even said nothing. He thought of his brother’s offer and how he had been nicer to him.

“You know, I’m not – I’m not in the position to say anything but I think he’s really trying to make up with you”, Isak said carefully.

Even looked away. “Yeah, probably”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to bother you all with excuses but I have a lot going on right now and I am under a lot of pressure and stress. This is why it took so long to update. There is one more chapter left and I am trying my best to update next week. But I hope you understand that it might be a little delayed.  
> I promise I will finish this story, I surely won't let you hanging on the last chapter!!
> 
> Also a huge huge thank you to everyone who always leave comments. I can't even begin to tell you how much that means to me!! Thank you, thank you!


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry it took forever to finish this story. Thank you if you were so patient to wait!   
> I hope you enjoy this last chapter.

**Monday 15:35**

Isak yawned. The sun was shining onto his face and he was lying comfortably on the grass, Even’s arm under his head. Jonas was talking and music was playing. It was Vilde’s goodbye party, she and Chris would go abroad, backpacking in South America. Sana would move to Amsterdam. It seemed everyone was going somewhere else. Isak and Even had by now decided to move to Trondheim and they were supposed to meet a friend of Andreas the next day, who would help them find a place.

 “Hey, you guys, want some sausages or not?” Magnus called. He loaded several sausages from the barbecue onto a plate. Jonas immediately sprung to his feet.

Even turned his head to look at Isak. He nudged Isak’s cheek with his nose. “Hmm”, Isak hummed.

 “Come on, let’s get some food”, Even said. Isak opened his eyes to a brilliant blue sky.

 “What is it?” Even asked.

 “No, I just thought… we’re going to move away from Oslo. Almost everyone is going away… this is the last time we’re hanging out together like this”, Isak said. Even nodded slowly.

 “The more reason to fully enjoy it, right?” he said and sat up. He helped Isak onto his feet and they walked over to the barbecue.

Everyone gathered around the table and new conversations started. Vilde described her planned travel route while Magnus had his arms wrapped around her, hindering both of them to properly eat.

 “I admit, it’s a bit scary”, Vilde said and shoved her potato salad around on her plate. “I’ve never travelled so far, for so long”, she said. “But I think it’s a valuable experience, something I have to do”. Sana nodded.

 “I guess, through going away you really appreciate what you have here”, Jonas said. Vilde burst into tears and Noora hugged her tightly.

 “When are you going to move, Isak?” Mahdi asked.

 “We’re going to meet the real estate agent tomorrow and discuss our ideas. Then we should be visiting Trondheim by next week… if we immediately find something we like…”, Isak said. Even nodded.

 “If we find something, we’ll probably move pretty quickly. We found courses at the university we want to do and I’ve already been looking for a part-time job”, Even said.

It was a very odd afternoon. Isak felt as happy and calm as he hadn’t in months. Even looked very happy, too. It was a lot of fun but also sad.

Even convinced Isak to dance with him and Isak followed but not without complaining that he had danced enough for a lifetime at Emily’s wedding.

 “Now, at our wedding you’ll have to dance, too”, Even said.

 “What?” Isak asked.

Even nodded firmly. “You cannot not dance at your own wedding. There’s a wedding dance and we are so going to have a cool choreography”, Even said.

 “A choreography?” Isak asked. “Absolutely”, Even said.

 “Hey, even if you move to Trondheim I’m gonna be pissed if we don’t get invited to your wedding”, Jonas threw in. Even laughed.

 

**TUESDAY 09:14**

 “Do you think we should dress up a little bit more?” Isak asked as Even rushed through the living room.

 “Huh? He’s supposed to get us a new apartment not judge us based on our fashion sense”, Even said. “I wouldn’t fail though”, he added. Isak rolled his eyes.

Andreas’ friend was surprisingly in his late 40s and a very nice man. They sat in a coffee shop discussing the important facts for their new home.

 “Close to the campus, or at least to the public transportation, right? Yes, keeping your budget in mind I already have a couple of apartments in my head. You said you would come to Trondheim next week? Good, then I’ll arrange it so you can visit all those places”, he said. He showed them the general area on a map.

When they said goodbye Andreas’ friend was shaking Even’s hand enthusiastically. “It was very nice meeting you after all. Andreas of course has spoken of you many times. It was such a pity I couldn’t come to his wedding but when my wife went into labour there’s nothing you could do about it, right?” he said and laughed.

 “Well then. Isak, Even. Say hello to Andreas from me and I will contact you with the dates for when you can see the apartments”, he said and shook both of their hands.

 “You know… we should probably thank Andreas once we get our new apartment”, Isak murmured. Even hummed but he didn’t sound too happy about that.

 

**TUESDAY 18:40**

Isak and Even were washing the dishes when Even’s mobile phone pinged.

> _Andreas 18:40_
> 
> How did the meeting go?

Even looked up. “It’s Andreas. Wants to know how it went”, he said. Isak tilted his head.

 “You could call him or something, I’ll finish up here”, Isak said. Even sighed.

 “He’s on his honeymoon, he won’t want to talk with me on the phone…”.

> _Even 18:40_
> 
> Good. Aren’t you on your honeymoon?
> 
> _Andreas 18:41_
> 
> Emily is getting a massage right now. Do you have a minute?
> 
>  

Even looked at Isak. “You sure you can handle the dishes alone?” he asked. Isak pursed his lips.

 “Excuse me? I’m the master of dish washing”, he said.

 “Yeah right. If I see one spot on the dishes later –“, Even said. Isak splashed him with dish soap water. “Hey!”

Isak laughed and Even tickled his sides.

 “Stop, stop”, Isak gasped. “Hey, your brother – he’s calling”. Even looked at his phone on the table. He left the kitchen and took the call.

 “Hi, Even”, Andreas said. “Hey”, Even murmured. It was awkward, he couldn’t remember when he and his brother had ever really had a proper conversation over the phone.

 “How are you?” Andreas asked casually. “Fine”, Even replied tensely.

 “Oh, I wasn’t –“, Andreas quickly added, realising his question came across wrong.

 “Yeah, it’s alright”, Even murmured. “How’s the honeymoon? Why are you up already anyway? Isn’t it like super early in Hawaii?” he asked.

Andreas sighed. “Yeah, we wanted to go hiking but the weather is pretty bad today so we’re staying in. So far it’s been really nice. Emily loves it”, he said.

 “Sounds like you don’t”, Even commented. Andreas laughed.

 “Oh, I do. There’s plenty of nice stuff to do and the people are friendly… the climate is just not up my alley. Emily is the one who loves tropical climate”, he said. “She sends her love by the way”.

Even hummed. “Say hello to her from Isak and me”.

It was quiet for a moment and Even heard some noise in the background. “What is that? That noise?” he asked.

 “Huh? Ah, that’s the rain, it's pretty intense. I think it’ll stop very soon, though. The weather changes quickly here”. There was a short silence.

 “So are you going to elaborate on the meeting or not?” he asked.

 “What do you mean?” Even asked.

 “Yeah, well, have you got a good feeling about Trondheim?” Andreas asked.

 “I don’t know, so far we haven’t been, have we? So, the meeting went well, I think he’s going to find a good place. He was pretty enthusiastic”, Even said. Andreas laughed.

 “Yeah, he’s like that… I would have introduced you to him at the wedding but he couldn’t come. His wife gave birth that very day”.

Even hummed. “Yeah, he told us”.

It was quiet for a bit again.

 “Since you mentioned your wedding… why did you beat up one of your guests?” Even asked. He heard Andreas inhale sharply.

 “What are you talking about?” Andreas asked.

 “Stop acting stupid. We’ve all noticed your hand…”, Even said annoyed. Andreas took a while to answer.

 “I learnt something new about a couple of my friends on my wedding… they thought because you and I had a bad relationship, it would be alright to talk shit about you”, Andreas said. Even said nothing.

 “It really pissed me off. The homophobic bullshit they were saying - and about your illness. It made me think that you probably hear that kind of stuff often… Whatever you think, Even, you’re still my brother and I won’t have it that others talk like that about you”, Andreas said. “Don’t forget that, okay?”

Even hummed. He was fumbling around with the zipper of his jacket. He didn’t know what to say.

 “Oh, Emily is back. She wants to talk to you”, Andreas said then.

 “Okay”, Even murmured.

 “Even!” Emily sounded like she was smiling brightly.

He heard a door being closed. “So, Andreas went to the bathroom and we can talk freely”, she said. “How are you?” she asked.

Even frowned. “Good, why -?” he started.

 “Not nervous about the move at all?” Emily added, interrupting Even. Even pursed his lips.

 “No, not really”, he said. She hummed. Even could tell that she didn’t believe him.

 “It’s all going faster than you had anticipated, no?” she said. Even shrugged although she could not see it.

 “Yeah, but it’ll be fine. I’m looking forward to it actually”, Even said.

 “Really?” Emily laughed a bit. “That’s nice”.

They were quiet for a moment. “I hope you and Isak visit us some time”, she said then. Even sighed. “Yeah, of course we’ll visit. You can come and visit us any time, too”, he said.

 “Me or – both me and Andreas?” she asked warily. Even huffed.

 “That’s a no then?” Emily asked calmly, she did not sound angry.

Even grunted. “Could he bear the risk of coming and experiencing me during an episode?” he asked. “Then you have your answer”.

Emily was quiet for a bit. “I don’t think that would be a problem for him”, she said gently. “Sometimes we make mistakes and – acknowledging that it was a mistake is a first step. Asking for forgiveness another… it all takes a bit of time. Any bonds cut off can be retied”, she said.

 “Sure, it might look a bit bumpy at first but to get a ribbon you have to tie two ends together, you know”, she continued. Even sighed.

 “Okay, okay, thanks for the philosophy lesson”.

Emily laughed. “I’m serious”. Even hummed.

Even was thinking. He thought of the wedding and how his brother had hit one of his friends for Even. His words of gratitude for helping Emily. His hug.

 “Maybe”, Even said finally. “Maybe we could be brothers again – some day. Just because he’s suddenly trying to be nice, doesn’t make everything else he did go away. I can’t forget that so easily”, Even said.

 “Yeah, I know. That’s okay, Even. Healing takes time and it is your right to say you are not ready for – for being close with your brother again. I won’t force it upon you again. I have to apologise for doing that. I was really selfish”, Emily said.

 “Don’t be ridiculous. I know that… it was for you wedding. It’s alright, no need to apologise”, Even said and shifted.

Emily breathed out. “So, we see each other when we’re back from the honeymoon, alright? You won’t move too soon, will you?”

Even rolled his eyes. “Well, depending on how soon we will find an apartment?” Even said. Emily hummed.

 “What now I thought you were happy for us?” Even teased.

 “Sure, sure. I am. It’s just sad that we’re going separate ways again after we’ve finally met”, she sighed. “I sound like an old mother watching her son moving out, huh?” she said.

Even laughed. “A bit”.

 

**FRIDAY 10:13**

Isak rolled out of bed with a groan. “Even… Even! Your phone”, he grunted and nudged Even’s side. Even sat up, his hair messy and standing up wildly. He groped around on the bedside table and picked up.

 “Hello?”

 “Good morning, darling”, his mother said.

Even sighed and let himself fall back into the pillows. “Morning, mum. What is it?”

She coughed. “Sorry. Your dad and I were looking after Emily’s cat while they’re away. But we’re both down with a nasty cold. Could you check on the cat today?” she said and her words were followed by a hefty coughing fit.

 “Yeah, sure. I guess I’m going to need the key”, he said once she had calmed down.

 “Can you come and pick it up on your way there? Wonderful, thank you”, she said relieved.

Even hung up and Isak returned to the bedroom with two cups. A tea and a coffee.

 “What’s up?” Isak asked. Even took the cup thankfully.

 “My mum. She wants me to check on Emily’s cat – my parents are sick so they can’t go”, Even said.

 “You want me to go with you?” Isak asked. Even smiled at him and raised his eyebrows.

 

**FRIDAY 14:22**

While the cat was meowing loudly as it impatiently tried to eat before Even had finished filling the bowl.

 “Okay, okay. Here you go”, he said and put the bowl down. Isak put the freshly filled water bowl down next to it.

 “We should stay a bit and keep the cat company”, Even said. Isak nodded and they settled down in the kitchen. The cat didn’t seem to be in a playful mood after its lunch and dashed out of the kitchen. Only a minute later loud meowing was to be heard.

Even and Isak exchanged looks and went to check. “It’s from upstairs”, Isak said looking up. They stood in the hallway. Isak who had never been upstairs looked uncomfortable. He didn’t simply want to go there without Emily and Andreas’ permission.

 “Well, let’s go”, Even said relaxed and climbed the stairs. Isak followed hesitantly. Even found the cat in the bathroom where it had managed to fall into the clothes basket and the lid had fallen shut.

Even helped the cat out. “Got you”, he said and let her down. It dashed out and Even followed it. Isak was standing in the small corridor in front of the bathroom. He was staring at the wall.

 “What’s wrong?” Even asked. The cat was snuggling up to Isak’s legs and purred.

Isak wasn’t staring at the wall but a newly put up framed picture, in fact a photograph and a drawing that had been put both in a frame. Above the photograph, a drawing had been slipped under the glass. It was the drawing from Emily’s brother. The photograph was from the wedding, it was the family shot. Emily’s parents, Andreas’ parents, Emily and Andreas themselves, glowing with happiness and then, Even and Isak. Isak originally hadn’t wanted to be in the picture because he wasn’t really part of the family, but Even had dragged him to be in it and Emily had been delighted to have Isak in the picture as well.

 Isak's chest felt oddly tight as Isak saw himself on there, in a family picture. He couldn’t remember having a picture like this, being in a picture like this, ever. Even stared at the picture and he too seemed very moved. He reached out his hand and touched the frame. Three words had been carved into the frame:

ALT ER LOVE

As they walked downstairs, Even thought of the drawing stuck next to the photograph. Emily had stuck it there to make it seem like her brother had been there, too.

 “Isak”, he said and stopped. Isak looked at him.

 “Let’s do a house warming party when we get the apartment”, Even continued. Isak smiled.

 “Sure!”

Even took Isak’s hand. “I think, we should also invite Emily and Andreas”, he added.

Isak looked at him for a while and then squeezed his hand. “Let’s do that”. Even leaned over and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much if you stuck with this story until the end. I really hope you enjoyed reading it!!  
> A thousand times thank you for leaving kudos and comments, it means the world to me ❤  
> And sorry again for updating so late...


End file.
